What's On (or will be) My Tree Wednesday

I stole this idea from this blog, the blogger of which I do not know in any shape, form or fashion. I'm not going to officially join her carnival, but I am going to steal her idea ;), since I'd been trying to think of something to post a weekly Christmas post anyway. Feel free to steal the idea and join in if you want, or you might even like to officially join her carnival.

So, since I don't have my tree up yet, these are some ornaments that will be on it, shortly, like by the end of the weekend. I think I've mentioned our ornaments that we get each year, usually from this site . These are our special ornaments for this year. Of course, they are all about Chloe!

Evan's big brother ornament (the baby looks less deformed in real life)

Chloe's First Christmas (Evan has a blue one just like this)

And our first "Family of Four" ornament

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here! We are dragging out decorations. The outside is getting lighted as I speak, er.. type. Don't worry, there will be LOTS of pictures to come.

What Are You Thankful For?

Today at Chick Fil A when the little lady bringing mints around dropped four on our table, Evan said, "I am SO thankful for her." Oh really, why? "because she gave me mints." Well, I guess everyone must be thankful for something.

So, what am I thankful for? Well of course there are the usual things such as:

• The spontaneous "I love you, Mommy." I received from Evan this morning.
• His precious smile of excitement when he found a letter from Santa Clause in the mailbox addressed to him yesterday.
• The sweet sigh of contented baby's breath that just escaped the angel sleeping on my chest.
• The sweet little hands that now reach for me and the little arms that now wrap around my neck and pull me to her when she's sleepy.
• My husband's strong arms around me when we actually have time for a quick hug.
• Our warm and cozy house filled with the sound of laughter and little feet.
• Our families who set such a good example for us.
• Our friends who are our strength in times of sorrow and our cheerleaders in times of joy.
• The provisions from our Lord who has stayed true to His word when we decided to trust in Him for financial help.
• And of course, my salvation, my hope, my faith, my comfort, my joy... Jesus Christ.

But, besides those "usual" things, I am thankful that I have a son with a weak stomach. Why? Well, because this is the scene that unfolded in the indoor playground at Chick Fil A right after Evan expressed his gratitude for the "mint lady":

We had just entered the playground and Evan was taking his shoes off. I'm already dreading this because it is cold and flu season and practically everytime Evan enters one of these playgrounds he catches something. In fact, I had tried to convince him that the playground at Chick Fil A was closed and that we just needed to eat somewhere else, but then felt bad because I knew he needed to burn off some energy. And we had managed to play there a couple of weeks ago, without him getting sick for the first time ever. Anyway, we were taking shoes off and there were several other children up in the playground. Suddenly a little red-haired boy comes down the slide and runs out of the playground. A few seconds later he returns with a nicely dressed woman, who says "Where is she?". He responds, "She's up in the slide, she won't come down because the snot is everywhere." Evan who is not really paying attention, is just about ready to take off up the playground, but I deter him for a moment... Want some of Mommy's milkshake? (No, of course I was not eating a milkshake, and of course I did not have one last night, too because I am trying to lose weight!). Evan comes to get some milkshake and I continue to observe.

A little older girl comes out of the playground, the woman says, "Hannah, here, go up and wipe Emma's nose." and hands her a tissue. I am already feeling an itch to dig in the bag for my hand sanitizer and I am not really that much of a germaphobe. So, the little girl takes off back up the slide and then I hear, "Hold still! Mommy said I have to! Stop it, you're getting snot everywhere." The woman says, "Emma, let Hannah wipe your nose." I then hear, "Mommy, there's a boogey!" The nicely dressed woman does not bat an eyelash and says, "Just wipe it on the tissue." I then hear, "Ewww, it's on my finger, now!", again, "Just wipe it on the tissue." "Mommy it's all over her hands." and again, "Just wipe it on the tissue and then bring me the tissue." The little girl then starts down the slide and the mom waits at the bottom. Suddenly the snotty, boogey tissue shoots out without the little girl. Apparently she has just slid it on down the slide along with all the snot and boogey germs and then returned to play with the other little girl who now both have snotty, boogey hands as well. The mom picks it up and out she goes.

I pick my chin up off the ground and look at my son. He is kind of pale looking. He says, "Did she say she had a booger?" I said, yes. We both just kind of stood there and then I said, "Evan, I think we better just go home today." He says, "Yeah, let's just go home." And out we went.

I am so thankful that my son has a weak stomach and was just as grossed out by the above scene as I was! By the way, this is the same kid who used to gag when he saw Chloe spit up! He'll be the kid who pukes in school anytime another kid does, but for today, it served us well.

Not Me Monday!

1. I did not decide to finally play along with MckMama's Not Me Monday carnival after lurking on it for weeks:).
2. I did not force my dear husband to drive over 2 hours on Saturday to take my children to the birthday party of a dear friends' child at a bounce place when he was overrun with yard work. My dear son certainly did not get to the bounce place he's been looking forward to going to all week, play for about 10 minutes and then insist on sitting on a bench and watching the football game (with his shoes on) for the rest of his playtime. Chloe most certainly did not cry at every adult who tried to talk to her, and I most certainly did not have to try to explain her anti-socialness over and over again. And our family did not spend almost the entire party sitting on a bench watching the football game (or sleeping in Chloe's case) instead of playing after driving over 2 hours to get to the party. (But we did have fun anyway, and I would not have missed it!)
3. I did not curse and throw a mini-temper tantrum with flying paper balls involved this week as I tried to print off research for a paper I was writing on a printer that will not feed paper correctly. And the printer did not run out of ink right when I finally got it to feed paper correctly. And once I replaced the ink cartridge, it certainly did not get out of alignment causing us to go cross-eyed trying to read anything we had printed.
4. We are not going to buy a new printer tonight.
5. I did not take a squash casserole out of the freezer last Monday and it is not still sitting in the refrigerator now because I most certainly did make dinner every night last week and we did not have fast food, frozen pizza, or frozen chicken strips and fries instead.
6. I did not cancel the rest of my scoring sessions for ETS this week because I did not decide that no amount of money was worth being chained to the computer for eight hours yesterday with a fussy baby and 3 year old running around.
7. And finally, I did not have the most seemingly perfect opportunity for a part time temporary (good paying, professional) job fall in my lap last week. And I did not call about it today and it does not sound like I may really be able to get that job. And then I did not start crying as I nursed my last (maybe) baby and think that I can't leave her!

More Evan-isms....

As usual, Evan has been a riot lately. I can't even remember all of them, but here are a few....

Matthew had picked us some dinner up from Cracker Barrell and had bought Evan some of the soft peppermint sticks (some of his favorite candy). We had put them up in a cabinet after he had a couple so he wouldn't eat all of them. I was putting Chloe in the bath and Matthew was in our bedroom playing with her when we heard Evan dragging his little green chair through the kitchen and to that cabinet. Matthew went in there and said, "Evan, what are you doing?" and he answered, "Not looking for candy!" ("My child has never lied to me", remember parents, NEVER say this in a parent-teacher conference;).

I don't know about your kids, but the commercials for all the new toys you can get for Christmas this year are just about more than he can handle! It is enough for me to want to throw my tv out the window, but of course I won't because then I would miss Jon and Kate Plus 8. But, anyway, Evan has been asking for literally every single thing he sees in a commercial and he asks by its name... So it will be like, "Mom can I have a Tonka Bounce Back Racer?; Mom, can I have a Clippo? (he also sings this song, Clip-po, Clippo, Clip-O!); etc. The other day, a Dominoes commercial came on and he said, "Mom can I have a Dominoes oven baked sub?" Now in his defense, he loves to play with toy dominoes, so he may have been confused :).

When we were in South Carolina, Evan slept with Matthew in a bed. I told Evan that his daddy was going to sleep in the bed with him and he said, "Oh good, tell him if he sees any nightmares coming out of my head to get up and fight them off, ok?"

When we first arrived in South Carolina we were all upstairs unpacking our mountains of stuff, Evan looked over the railing and yelled down to Poppy and Moppy, "Hey guys is everything still ok down there?" They told him it was and asked if everything was ok up there and he said, "Oh yes, everything is just great up here!"

When we went to visit Granny Ruby, Poppy and Evan took her white schnauzer for a walk. Jazz has not had her ears clipped so they do not stand up, they are longer and floppy. As they were walking, Evan said, "So how long has Granny Ruby had this bunny?" My dad told him it wasn't a bunny it was a dog and he said, "Well, that dog has bunny ears!"

Matthew brough Evan home the movie, Kung Fu Panda the other day and he was using scissors to open the very technologically advanced packaging that all kids' toys comes in now a days. Evan said, "Dad, be careful and don't cut the movie. That would be very expensive!"

We went to a birthday party at a bounce place this past weekend. Evan had a wristband on. On the way home, he told us he still had it on his arm. Matthew said when we got home, we'd cut it off. Evan was horrified and yelled, "No! Don't cut my arm off!"

Evan was having another one of his moments when he confuses mommy with a waiter and had demanded milk and a certain movie to watch at the same time. I started by putting the movie in, so while I was putting the movie in the dvd player he said, "Mommy, I thought you were getting my milk!". I said, "I can only do one thing at a time, Evan. I only have two hands!" (Yes, that would be my mother channeling through me.) He said, "Woopsy! I forgot! I thought you had an arm machine and could everything!" I said, "Nope, maybe you should invent one for me." He said, "I can't do that mom, because I'm not a magic kid. But when I grow up and become a daddy I'll have magical powers!" This then led into a discussion about how and when he will become a daddy, which ended up with me having to explain why he can't just have a baby right now and be a daddy with me :0. I'll spare you that conversation!

Evan also likes to use the word "Rotten" now. He uses it to describe most anythign he does not want to eat. If he doesn't want it he says it is "rotten and will make him sick".

I showed Evan the new pictures of Madelyn's baby brother, Drew and he said, "Awww he's precious!" and the tickled the computer monitor and said, "coochie, coo" to each picture.

Evan came up to me yesterday while I was grading tests at the computer, put his head down, and said very sadly and remorsefully, "Mommy, I've done something really "tupid"." I didn't even tell him not to use this word because I figure he has really destroyed something. What did you do? "I can't tell you." Show me. "I can't." So, I'm off on a search through the house looking for something really "tupid". I can't find anything obvious so now I'm evev more worried, until this morning when he's watching and acting out his TMNT movie and I hear Raph telling Splinter the same thing:). Whew, that's a relief, he has only fought with his brother, Leo, left him alone and vulnerable and gotten him captured. No broken tv's or anything.

Evan was shooting me last night with a little party favor that shoots styrofoam darts. I told him not to shoot at Baby Chloe and he said, "Yes, I am a bad guy and I shoot everyone. Even little babies."

And on a more serious note, Evan is obsessed with death lately. We have had several losses lately, my grandmother, our dog Kena, Pa. And of course for whatever reason Disney fells the need to kill off a parent in every one of their movies, and you get a double whammy in Tarzan since both Tarzan's parents and the baby gorilla get eaten by the leopard. It's a true tear-jerker. Anyway, we've had LOTS of questions lately. It is obvious it is on his mind, heck, he killed Tweetie, buried him in the leaves, and brought him back to life at Poppy's multiple times. Anyway, last night he was asking me for the millionth time when his dad was going to die, when I was going to die, when he was going to die. I finally just said, none of us are going to die. He said, "Mom, everyone has to die sometime." Sigh. Back to the, we are going to live a long long time spill.

He also is very curious about where he was before he was in my tummy. At first, he did not like to see pictures of me as a child or anything like that b/c he said I couldn't be his mommy like that. Then he decided he was in my tummy my whole life. I finally told him he was living with God until it was time for him to come and be in my tummy. He then asked me if that was why we called God, "Father?" And he now will talk about things that happened when he was living with God, before he was in my tummy. What an imagination!

The Afterbath

Ok, first of all, photobucket is giving me a really hard time! All of the previous slideshows I've made will not load on my blog and if I try to post the link into a blog entry or if I try to edit the entry after I've shared it this one will not load either, so GRRRRRR! I hate technical glitches. You'd expect more from a free photo storage and sharing site ;). Oh well. (If you do want to see any of the older ones, they will show up if you click on "view all photos". You can see the slideshow in photobucket instead of right on the blog, but still, GRRRRR!)

Anyway, I've been hinting and begging for a DSLR camera, don't ask me what those initials stand for, all I know is that it is a digital camera with the big lens on the front that is able to take much better pictures and do more fancy photography stuff than my simple point and shoot (see another term I learned). BUT since they are like $1000 with the lens kits and stuff, that is not something we can just buy on impulse, especially right now that I am not bringing in any income. Matthew has pointed out (sweetly and nicely of course) that I really don't even know how to use the camera we have with all the settings and stuff. SO I have decided to first start playing around with the camera we have and then maybe when I go back to work I can save up some money for the camera I want ;). So these pictures were after Chloe's bath and I was playing around with the white balance, color, and ISO on them. Thanks to MckMama, I learned what the white balance and ISO actually did because I have no idea where the manual for the camera is! I also played around with some stuff in photoshop with editing them. So, some may be repeats, just edited differently. Thanks for looking!

Don't you just love babies just out of the bath, all warm, snuggly, and fragrant and with their little baby chubs and rolls everywhere? I know I do!

MckMiracle

You may have noticed the MckMiracle button under "Other Blogs" on the right side of my blog over there. This is a link to MckMama's blog, My Charming Kids. If you've never checked out her blog, you must go and see it! She is a great writer, very entertaining. She also occassionally posts "photography lessons" which I love. And most importantly, she has been blessed with her very own miracle. You must read about Baby Stellan and how he was miraculously healed in utero when all doctors said he would surely die.

But the real reason I'm posting all this today, is she is having a Small Fryday contest today and I want to enter! You might like it, too, so check it out!

Hope that stirs up some HYPE for you, MckMama!

Our Trip to Poppy and Moppy's House

We had a great time on our trip to Moppy and Poppy's House last week. Some of the highlights of the trip were

• Story Night with Poppy and Moppy, complete with popcorn
• Visiting Great-Grandmother Ruby (first time she had met Chloe)
• Making Crayola Pizza with Moppy by candlelight. Evan made a train, if you squint realy hard, you'll be able to tell what it is.
• Coloring with Poppy and Moppy
• Dancing with Poppy
• And best of all, Evan got a new birdie! (you may remember he's been asking for one) His name is Tweetie and he meets all of the requirements Mommy had set forth for a bird... does not poop, doesn't need to eat, is very quiet, will not get out and fly around the house, and no fear of diseases.

Photobucket is not working for me today, so I'll try something new...

Make a Smilebox slideshow

I've Been Tagged! (and other things)

I was tagged by Mary Beth to:

Open the 4th picture folder on my computer
Choose the 4th picture in that file
Explain the picture
Tag 4 people to do the same.

This picture was taken by my mom during a photo shoot where we were trying to get pictures for a Christmas card. Evan was about 61/2 months old and it was his first Christmas. Chloe is really starting to look more like him, I think. Can't wait to see her Christmas shots!

Tag, You're it! Amanda R, Cindy, Mandy R, and Perri

Speaking of Christmas.... I'm starting to get into the Christmas spirit! If you thought I liked fall, just wait until my Christmas posts start, LOL! I LOVE Christmas. Maybe I need to start a weekly Christmas post, hmm, I'll have to think about it.

In Other News....

Chloe turned 5 Months Old on Friday!

Honestly, where has the time gone? I cannot believe she is so big. She's rolling both ways, although mostly she rolls to her tummy and then starts fussing. She is very smiley most of the time, but has some stranger anxiety which makes her a little anti-social. We discovered this weekend that her favorite song is "Puff the Magic Dragon". I have weird kids, I guess, they get attached to a certain song and it's usually one that you wouldn't think. Evan LOVED Daydream Believer. Maybe my kids have weird parents, because really, why are we singing these weird songs to them in the first place? LOL. I'll try to get some video of her reaction to Puff later this week. Here are some pictures:

We went to Greenville, SC to visit Poppy and Moppy this weekend. We also got to visit the kids' great-grandmother, Granny Ruby. We had a great time. I'll post more details and pictures, later.

On the way to SC we noticed that everytime we turned left, the car made a strange sound. Turns out the strange sound was water pouring into the floorboard. We think it is from the accident we had back in September. And our hot water heater went caput! So, I'm without a car and we are getting a new hot water heater. Why is it, when you are both working and things are fine, you never have these little "emergencies" come up?

If I am scarce on posting it is because my school semester is wrapping up and since I'm a HUGE procrastinator, this means I am super busy. I have an assignment, a five page paper, a field experience journal for 45 hours worth of experiences, and a big group project (that we had to complete online without ever meeting face to face, interesting) all due next week. To make matters even better I am grading tests online this week for ETS at night. Fun, fun! But by the end of next week, it will be over and I'll have a nice break.

The Red Lobster School of Parenting

When I was in college I worked for a few years at Red Lobster waiting tables. (Matthew and I actually met there). Waiting tables is an absolutely horrid job! I do not recommend it to anyone. The only good thing about it was that I could control how much income I brought in and I could make more money working less days there than anywhere else where you only made minimum wage. If I needed more money I could easily pick up a shift since every shift began with at least 3-4 of the people scheduled to work roaming around trying to give their shift away to someone (Matthew or I were usually one of these people). And if I had already made enough money for the month I could also easily give my shifts away, since there were also usually 2-3 people roaming around trying to pick up a shift due to poor financial management for the month. In the waiting business, there are a few lingo terms that you may not be familiar with, so I'm going to give a quick glossary of terms:

"In the weeds"- this means you are behind and/or have more tables than you can properly care for (this also usually means that you have many customers sitting around with angry faces, food gelling in the warming window that needs to be walked, empty glasses on most tables, and sharply declining tips).

"Run to Death"- this means that you have a customer or possibly (likely) several customers who constantly need something, but instead of being able to compile a list of their needs and give them to you all at once like (ketchup, extra butter, and some lemon), they ask for one thing at a time and each time you return to the table they ask for something else they've thought of. These type of customers are usually the ones who end up placing you "in the weeds" and surprisingly, they are also the same ones who do not believe in tipping 15%, hmmm.

"86"- this means you are out of whatever follows the "86". At Red Lobster it usually sounded like this on Sunday nights (Mondays are shipment days), "We are 86- all fresh fish, shrimp scampi, tomatoes, bread, ranch dressing, ice, etc." LOVE working on a Sunday night! Have you ever seen irate Red Lobster regulars who hear we are out of bread? It ain't pretty!

Anyway, now that you are all caught up on restaurant lingo, let me fill you in on an epiphany I had this morning: All those years that I thought working at Red Lobster was just a means to an end and was not actually preparing me for anything, I was SO wrong. Little did I know, it was preparing me to be a mother to a three year old. This is what this morning (and most every morning, noon, afternoon, evening, etc) sounded like:

7:00 a.m. (from his bed) MOOOOM! I have to go PEEEEE! 2 second pause. MOOOOOOOOOM, I SAID I HAVE TO GO PEEEEEEEPEEEEEE! 1 second pause. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM I HAVE TO GO PEEEEEEEEEPEEEEEEE RIIIIIIIIGHT NOOOOOOOOOW! 1/2 second pause, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY I HAAAAAAAAAVE TO GO PEEEEEEEEEEEPEEEEEEEEEE RIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOW, AND I WANT SOME MIIIIIIIILK!

7:01 a.m. I want to go downstairs because I see the sun right there. My feeet are tiiired, can you carry me, mommy?

7:02 a.m. (after he has been deposited on the couch, covered with a blanket and cartoons turned on) Mommy, are you getting my milk?

7:03 a.m. (after I bring the milk and return to the kitchen to make coffee) MOOOMMY! I don't want to watch THIS!

7:04 a.m. (again, after I've returned to the kitchen) MOOOOMMMY! Can you skip these previews?

7:05 a.m. (again I've returned to the kitchen) MOMMMY! I don't really want to watch this, can you put on my short Turtle Ninja show?

7:06 a.m. (you know where I am by now) MOMMY! Can you skip these previews?

7:07 a.m. MOMMY! This one scares me! I want to watch the one with the snakes!

7:08 a.m. MOMMY! I'm still thirsty, I need some more milk.

7:09 a.m. MOMMY! I need my blue blankie! (which I find on the floor right beside him)

7:10 a.m. (from my bedroom, from Chloe) WAAAAAHHH!

7:12 a.m. (loud enough so that I can hear him in the bedroom) MOMMY! I'm HUNGY!

7:15 a.m. (after Chloe is back to sleep, Evan has food, milk, blue blankie, the correct turtle ninja show, and I am just putting the coffee in the coffee maker) MOMMY! CAN YOU HELP ME FIND MY SWORDS I NEED TO FIGHT!

7:18 a.m. (again the above, and now I'm trying to start laundry) MOMMMY CAN YOU SKIP THESE PREVIEWS? (I find him poised in front of the tv, swords in fighting position as if someone has "paused" him while a commercial is on, LOL).

The commercial thing continued at least 3 more times during the show as I tried to pump, drink coffee, and fold laundry all at the same time.

So you see, I am now "in the weeds" already today because my 3 year old has "run me to death" and I'm getting close to being "86" on patience!

They Say It (Was) My Birthday!

So, apparently I'm 30. That doesn't really seem possible, since I really still only feel about 18, but I guess it must be true. It's kind of like my dad told me about my great-grandmother one time... She was in her 80's and her mind was not quite there anymore. Her son told her she was 80 something and she said "No, I'm not, I'm only 50 something." He said, "Mom, but I'm in my 60's". And she said, "Well, I can't help that."

Seriously, though. People keep asking me how I feel about turning 30. I can honestly say, it doesn't bother me at all. In fact, for most of the day I kept forgetting it was my birthday. I'm very happy with where I am in my life. I'm very comfortable in my own skin and to be honest, 30 doesn't daunt me at all. I certainly don't wish to go back to any time in my life (although I have many fond memories from younger years). I feel this is the perfect time. I do think about how I will feel when I am older and my children are all grown up. I can't imagine that. But, I hope I will feel just as satisfied as I do right now. It's hard to watch them grow, but I know that as they do I will be proud and happy for all of their accomplishments and I know we will make such wonderful memories together as a family.

So, as I mentioned before we went to Disney on Ice Friday night on my birthday. It was a great 30th birthday celebration. First, we ate at Bojangles and then on to the show. What more can you ask for than dinner and the theatre? It's such a grown up way to celebrate.

Matthew and I had plans to go out to eat at Conner's on Saturday to celebrate together. It is one of our favorite restaurants and we have not been there since Evan was a baby I guess. Well, when we got there, Matthew talked to the host (we had a reservation) and then he tells me to come on and starts following this girl. The next thing I know the girl has gone one way and he is still going another way. I was thinking, "Where on Earth is he going?" And I was starting to lag back because I was thinking any second now, someone is going to say "Where do you think you are going?" and it would be embarrassing (I'm so supportive like that). Then, I look up and there are all of my friends at the table! He had surprised me by getting all of them together. It was so much fun! Thank you everyone for coming. It was a great birthday.

Fall Beauty

Fall Fun

Perfectly Spoiled

Well, it is official, Chloe is spoiled, rotten, ruined! And I love it. I was very careful with Evan not to "spoil" him. I decided before he was born that sleeping independently in his own bed was best for him. I read several books on the topic. I worked and worked to make sure he went to sleep on his own in his bed and in his own room after about 3 months. I wanted a good sleeper and I got one. He was a great sleeper. All I had to do was just hold him for a minute or two, whisper that it was time to sleep and put him in his crib and off he went. I very rarely ever let him in the bed with me. Only a few times out of sheer exhaustion or illness or if we were not at home. It all worked out great, but I'll admit I didn't do a lot of rocking to sleep. In fact, I was so afraid of starting a bad habit that I hardly ever rocked him to sleep. Like I said, it worked. It worked so well that if we were not at his bed at nap time or bedtime a major meltdown would ensue. Also, since we had an early bedtime... 7:00... for a year or more if we did any activities in the evening we had to be home by about 6:30. Now, I'm not complaining. I think sleep is extremely important for babies and young children. In fact, I still roughly use the same routine with Chloe, but I've learned that bad habits are not always terrible and that in infancy everything, good or bad, is a short lived phase.



A few different factors have shaped Chloe's sleeping habits, One is that due to her active big brother we are hardly ever able to be at her bed at every nap time. Therefore, she is much more flexible with where she sleeps and so am I. Another is that with football season and Matthew not getting home until 7 most nights, that early of a bedtime just didn't work. And since I am at home neither kid really has to get up too early, so they stay up a little later. Also, even though we are often out and about during nap time I needed a surefire technique for getting her to sleep when I'd missed her nap time. So we have developed a snuggle, jiggle routine that will work anywhere and we use it often. Even at home. And surprisingly I have not had to spend hours yet putting her to sleep. It still usually works in about 5 minutes. But, I guess the biggest difference between hers and Evan's sleep habits is WHERE she ends up sleeping most nights...

Yes, that would be my bed, or more specifically, my arms. She does start out in her own bed (in my room, of course), but when she wakes up in the early morning hours around 4 or 5 to eat (Evan was sleeping 7 to 7 by now) she does not want to go back in her bed. She will fuss until I put her right here and as soon as her head hits the crook of my arm, she closes her eyes and goes right back to sleep. And you know what, I LOVE it! I could never completely co-sleep because I just cannot sleep well with a baby in the bed. I wake up with every little movement of theirs or mine because I'm worried about rolling over or suffocation or something, but for a few hours of dozing in the morning hour it is wonderful. And I love the fact that as soon as she snuggles close to her mommy she feels secure enough to go right back to sleep.

Sleeping is not the only time she prefers her momma though. There have been several days lately where especially in the late afternoon, she does not prefer to be put down, thank you very much. That gets a little challenging sometimes, but I've learned to go with it and pop her in the Baby Bjorn or Sling and go about my business. She loves it. My back gets a little sore, but it's worth it. She also does not like strangers very much, or even people who are not strangers sometimes. She is most happy on mommy's lap. I don't mind this either because it deters strangers who want to hold her, but for people we know and love I wish she were a little more social. In fact, I have tried to warn her that if she doesn't shape up around her grandmother she'll end up in daycare!

I guess the thing is that I learned with Evan, they are only little for a little while. Before you know it, they are too big to rock or too active to snuggle and they are way too busy to want to cling to mommy's lap. So, who cares if she develops a few bad habits? They will be dropped before I know it so for now, I'm going to be her enabler and cherish everyone!

Remembering Pa

Today was a beautiful day for a celebration of life. As we gathered at what would be Pa's final resting place, beside his wife and young son who had passed on years before, nestled on a beautiful hill, surrounded by a ridge glowing with the MOST beautiful fall leaves I think I have ever seen, and bathed in sunlight, I was struck by how absolutely beautiful God's creation is. Today was a sad day because Pa will be missed by many, but it was also a happy day because we know he lived a wonderful life. One in which he was blessed and happy. And we know that he is now in Heaven and will be blessed and happy evermore. The pastor read this scripture at the service today. It was so unbelievably fitting for the setting. He talked about how many comings and goings Pa had seen in his lifetime of 96 years. It was the perfect scripture and I hope that the beautiful day, God's beautiful Earth, and the verses brought comfort to those grieving most bitterly for him.

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—

where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—

he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—

he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.Psalm 121

Although I was not his "real" grandchild, Pa always treated me just like I was. He was always kind and gracious to me and he loved my children. "Evans" as Pa called him loved to go and visit him and he always tried to have a little something for him. We'll miss you, Pa.

Happy Happy Birthday!

We celebrated the fifth anniversary of Matthew's 29th birthday last night at Big Ed's Pizza! It was a great time! Matthew is a wonderful husband and father and I'm so thankful to him. Happy Birthday, Honey!

P.S. Boy, have birthdays changed in the last decade! Friday is my 30th birthday, that's right the big 3-0, and how will I celebrate such a momentous milestone?

We're going to Disney on Ice, of course! Party On!

Election Day

Don't forget to vote today!!

Splish Splash

God Hears Even the Smallest of Prayers...

So, as I've mentioned before, I've been working on praying with Evan at night. We are trying to move beyond the recitation of Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. So we usually follow a little formula like this:

Dear God in Heaven, thank you for _______.

Please watch over and protect the people we love. God bless ________.

I want to be a good boy and do as you say, but sometimes I forget. I'm sorry for _____________________.

Please help me __________________.

Amen.

I pretty much say everything except the blanks and he fills in the blanks, but he has been kind of reciting some of the other lately, too. Anyway, for weeks now every night he has asked for God to help him find his "Mikey Turtle Injun that I play in the bathtub with." It has been missing for months. Matthew and I have looked everywhere. Every night he says, God didn't help me find my turtle ninja and I try to explain that sometimes it takes a while to answer your prayers.

Well, the other day out of the clear blue Evan asked to play with his dinosaur (a baby toy he has had since his first Christmas that you play with roll around balls with). I have no idea what made him want to play with it. But I drug it down from the top shelf where it was and what was stuffed inside? MIKEY!

Evan was elated that God had helped him find him! I have no clue how Mikey even got in there or when since I can't remember the last time Evan played with it. But God came through. Thank you for affirming my child's faith by answering even the smallest of prayers.

On a larger prayer basis, please remember my family in your prayers. My uncle is having a very rough recovery and there may be complications. My step-dad's dad (and Ray's dad as well), Pa, passed away very early this morning at the age of 96. And my great uncle suffered another heart attack this morning and was air lifted to UT hospital. He was not expected to survive the flight and we have not heard yet about his situation. Please pray for God's grace and peace for my family members who are grieving. Thanks!

Trick or Treat Fun!

We had a great time trick or treating and handing out candy Halloween night. Brian, Beth, Grandmother, Granddaddy, Granddaddy Ben, Taylor, and Saddie all joined us for Halloween fun. We also enjoyed our annual Halloween visit from Madelyn and getting to see the Raymond twins in their cute costumes. Fun was had by all!
Evan is lovin' Halloween. I think for the sake of his teeth, though, there is going to have to be a tragic accident with his pumpkin. He has eaten nothing but candy for two days now. Do Skittles and Starburst count as fruit? I'm thinking, not so much. This is Evan playing "trick or treat" today. The thing on his head... "Well, it's kind of like a doo rag, but it's just my blue blankie pretending."

In Remembrance of Life

Two years ago today I went to a regular doctor's appointment when I was 12 weeks pregnant with what was to be our second child. I was going to have the nuchal fold translucency test, which is a first trimester screening test that my doctor's office offers to all patients. It is basically an ultrasound that measures the thickness of the skin fold at the back of the baby's neck and combines that measurement with a bloodtest and other factors such as your age to determine the percentage of risk that your baby might be born with Down syndrome or one of the Trisomy disorders. It is an optional test, but since I'm the type of person who needs as much information as possible (and because it means I will get another ultrasound) I always opt for the test. I was not at all nervous. I went by myself because Matthew didn't feel he could miss work and this being the second baby and all we didn't see the need for him to be at every appointment. I had kind of wanted him to go, just so he could see the ultrasound, but I was not worried at all. I had had a little spotting early on, around 8 weeks, but we had gone for an ultrasound that week and had seen a healthy baby with a healthy heartbeat and the spotting had immediately stopped. I had been sick as a dog for the last 12 weeks and they say that is a good sign. I was now at 12 weeks, which I thought was the magic number, and I felt confident. In fact, I was elated while driving to the dr. on a gorgeous fall morning. I was just struck by how HAPPY with my life I was. It was a feeling that I never had again when on my way to a dr. visit while pregnant.

They called me back for my ultrasound and I was so excited to see my little baby. I knew that he/she would look like a baby now instead of like an alien. Although, still tiny, it's little body would be perfectly formed and I would get to see it swimming around in my uterus. I couldn't wait. When she started the ultrasound, I got an uneasy feeling. I remembered from this ultrasound with Evan that as soon as they started, I saw his whole body. But, this time it was like the tech had it zoomed in so close that I couldn't tell what she was looking at. Also, she had been all chatty and friendly and after saying "Here we go" and after placing the wand on my belly she had not said another word. I watched her face as she studied the screen and moved the wand all over my abdomen. I was definitely starting to worry, but I was too afraid to ask any questions. Then, she said, I just can't see exactly what I need to, so I'd like to do a vaginal ultrasound. I didn't even ask any questions then as I went to undress, but I knew that this was not normal. They had no trouble seeing what they needed to with Evan and I was only 11 weeks along with him. I tried to convince myself that it was because I was heavier now than I had been with Evan, but I prayed for strength as I undressed. When I went back out and she started the other ultrasound I saw my little baby on the screen. It was lying very still on it's back on the bottom of my uterus, but Evan had looked the same way. He had been sleeping. The tech had had to poke my tummy to wake him up. But this tech did not poke. Finally, I gathered all my courage and said, "Is something wrong?" She said, "I'm sorry, I wanted to get a closer look to be sure, but I don't see a heartbeat." She showed me on the screen where they should be able to see it and then she took some measurements. I studied the image of my perfect baby through my tears on the screen. He/she was perfectly formed. Head, abdomen, arms, legs, all perfect. I was too shaken up to even ask for a picture, but later I wished I had (some may think that's strange), but regardless the image is ingrained in my mind.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 139:13-16

Finally, she left the room for me to get dressed. I immediately broke down and then just as immediately I began to pray. A calm and understanding came over me. It was ok to be sad, but I knew God was with me. He knew my pain. And although I could not understand, I knew this was part of God's plan for me, for my baby. I was sad, grieving, but I was also filled with a peace and I was calmed.

As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. Ecclesiastes 11:5

As I finished the appointment and headed to my car to call Matthew I was struck by a gratitude that I had been able to have my baby with me for as long as I had and for the happiness that child had brought me in those weeks. When Matthew arrived to get me, he said "It's strange how you can miss someone that you never even knew." I understood what he meant, but I didn't feel that way. I felt like I had known that little life. It was part of me and had etched its place in my heart already. And that is what this post is really about.. a celebration of life.

I remember exactly what I was doing when I found out this little one was on its way. It was August and it was hot. I was sitting on the back steps watching Evan play and all of a sudden I felt nauseous. It was a familiar feeling. Morning sickness is a kind of sickness that is unique. Hmmm, I thought. I went inside and looked at the calendar... hmmm. Evan and I were getting ready to head to Wal-Mart for our weekly grocery trip. I didn't say anything to Matthew. When we got to Wal-Mart I went and bought a pregnancy test first thing and then drug my 15 month old child into the public restroom to take it! It turned positive immediately! I couldn't believe it!! I was SO happy. I immediately began thanking God. It had been a struggle to get pregnant with Evan and I couldn't believe our good fortune. I was ecstatic! I got myself together and went back into the store and got a buggy to shop. I went straight to the baby section and looked for a fun way to break the news to Matthew. This is what we came up with. When we got home Evan gave him a present and this is what was inside:

A few weeks later we got to get our first glimpse of our new baby. I was 8 weeks pregnant and everything looked just perfect:

The ultrasound tech wrote "baby praying" on this picture.

We found out that baby bean was due May 16. Evan's birthday is May 24. At first, I was a little disappointed because they would have to share birthdays and such, but the more I thought about it, the more excited I became. If it were a boy, he could wear all of Evan's old clothes. I envisioned common birthday themes. They would be almost exactly 2 years apart. I figured they would be the best of friends! I was a little intimidated by the fact that we would most likely still have two in diapers and the thoughts of a 2 year old and newborn, but I was up for the challenge and I was so excited about it!

This baby made sure I knew he/she was there. I was VERY sick. Even sicker than I was with Evan. For several weeks, I was throwing up 7-8 times per day and when I wasn't throwing up, I felt like it! Teaching 5th graders during this time was challenging. For one thing, um, it was hot and not all 5th graders understand the importance of deodorant (or bathing daily) yet. Yuck! My nose was on overdrive, but I welcomed the sickness because it made me feel "pregnant" and I thought it was a good sign that things were going well.

Around October, I ordered our annual Christmas ornaments. Since we've been married, we've been getting a special ornament or ornaments each year. When we decorate our tree, it is so fun to look back on all of them and remember. This is the one I ordered for us for that year.

Of course, after I lost the baby, I put that ornament in my memory box and I ordered another ornament. A beautiful angel, and had "Always Remembered" written on it. Later I added another ornament for my other three babies and they now hang on our tree each year. Strangely, it does not make me sad when I pull them out, it makes me feel happy... to remember.

I felt like I began showing really early with this baby. My pants were getting tight by about 10 weeks. Since I already had a big box of maternity clothes, I thought, why make myself suffer? I dug out the maternity pants. I did wear them with normal tops so that hopefully people couldn't tell what I was wearing. But I couldn't wait to have an obvious pregnant belly. I couldn't wait to feel the little kicks. I was so excited that my first trimester was almost over. I thought I would be feeling better soon and that the fun was really about to begin. This was on Halloween, the night before my ultrasound. Baby belly?

Our baby was only with us for a short time, but we had hopes and dreams for him/her from the moment we found out about his/her existence. We were filled with joy, excitement, hope, and anticipation from the moment we learned of his/her existence. It was different than with Evan. It was not new. Being pregnant felt familiar and safe. I felt relaxed. I felt confident. It was a feeling I had never felt before and never will again. I look back on that time and those feelings with great happiness and with envy. The feelings I had during my pregnancy with that baby I know I will never have again, unfortunately. The baby was very wanted. The baby was very loved. And the baby brought us a world of happiness in just the 8 short weeks that we knew it. We know that it was not God's will for us to know our baby in life, but we know we will know it in Heaven one day. I have no idea what that meeting will be like. I can't fathom how we will know each other in Heaven, but I believe we will.

These are a few verses that helped me in my grief:

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. ... Romans 5:1-21

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

"For A Moment"
I saw for just a moment, your little arms and legs.

The little blur they said was you, but now you've gone away.

I heard for just a moment, the beating of your heart.

The sound that held such promise, but soon it would depart.

I dreamt for just a moment, of the day I'd hold you tight.

I'd listen for your little breath, and rock you through the night.

I cried for just a moment, when they said that you had gone.

I laid alone in silence that seemed so very long.

I prayed for just a moment, that you would be reborn.

Into His arms you would come and forever would be warm.

I was for just a moment, the mother of a child.

Who moved and lived and meant so much, if only for a while.

In that single moment, when I finally said farewell.

I knew that we would meet again, when time will only tell.

An angel wrote a name in the book of life, with a sigh she closed the book and whispered, “Too Beautiful for Earth”.

So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish. Matthew 18:14