Nothing to See Here

So, Monday night Matthew was washing Chloe's hair and found a dent in her head. Yes, you read that correctly. He brought her to me to feel and she did in fact have about a dime-sized, pretty noticeable dent in the back of her skull a little to the right of the middle of her head. In fact, it kind of turned my stomach when I felt it.

I called and made her an appointment to have it checked out at the pediatrician the next day. We couldn't figure out what in the world it was. We were pretty certain that it had not been there her entire life because surely we would have felt it by now. She had not hit her head on anything that we (or she) knew of.

When we got to the dr. I think they thought I was crazy. The dr. was all ready to humor me and tell me it was her normal head. But, then he felt it and he suddenly went from humoring me to puzzled. He'd never felt anything like that before. She was a medical mystery. He was pretty sure it was nothing to be concerned about since it was bone all the way through and didn't hurt her in any way, and since she was acting completely normal and had basically no medical symptoms of any kind. He ordered some skull x-rays just to be sure and they came back normal, so we are in the clear.

The funny thing was when we got home, my mom and Lynn had been watching Caroline and they both felt Chloe's head. They were asking her if it hurt or anything and she said,

"No. If people would stop reminding me, I wouldn't even know it was there. I'd just be walking around, like, 'Nothin' strange here. Just a normal head. Nope, no dents in this head. It's really not very noticeable to me.'

Who's the Boss?

Tonight Chloe and Evan were playing so nicely together. Evan had decided he was going to start a "fake" business. Chloe jumped right on board,

"The first thing we need is some fake money!"

They sat at the kitchen table making business plans. They created a name and were drawing a logo. Then, Evan decided Chloe needed to fill out an employment application. They were occasionally asking me how to spell things... her middle name. Their address, etc. I'm really thinking that I have the best kids in the world when all of a sudden I hear yelling, and arguing, a paper ripping, and then loud crying. I hear Evan say, "You're fired!"

Chloe comes running to me, crying loudly. Through her loud crying, she tells me that Evan was being mean to her and telling her what to do. Then, he fired her.

I chastised Evan for firing her. He said, "Well, she was being insubordinate. I'm the manager. I can't allow that type of behavior."

Chloe is still loudly wailing and carrying on. I tried to explain to her that if she was going to be an employee in Evan's fake business, then he would be pretending to tell her what to do. It was part of the game. She wasn't having any of it or calming down, so I sent her to her room.

A few minutes later, she calmly returns downstairs. She has stapled some construction paper together and has moved on to the next venture... Creating a flyer for a new movie she is thinking up.

She returns to the kitchen table. As she works, she very calmly says, "Evan, you will never, at any point in your life, even for a fake business, EVER be my boss." And keeps right on working.

Glad we got that straight.

Bigger Kids Still Say the Darndest Things

I am not as good at writing down all the funny things the kids say now a days, but they still keep us laughing! Here a few I collected:

Mom- Chloe, you're going to make me late for work. (She is pitching a fit)
Chloe- Then, you better stop upsetting me.

Chloe was going to a friend's house to spend the night. They are great friends, but both girls like to call the shots. As she was leaving, I offered this bit of advice:

"Remember that a good friend will do what the other person wants to do sometimes."
Her response, "Ok, I'll tell Paisley that."

Evan: Were the fifties when everything was black and white?

Chloe: I want to go to Wasabi and have some karaoke chicken!

Evan: (power was out) I'm going to have to play outside like a 1985 kid!

Matthew: Did Hudson pee somewhere in the house?
(He and I are frantically searching because he didn't go when he went outside).
Evan: Why are you so worried?
Me: It will stink if he pees and we don't clean it up.
Chloe: Oh no, I can smell the stench already!

Aisle 9

Today I was standing in Aisle 9 in the grocery store. Ok, I don't really know what aisle number it was, I didn't pay attention. But I was standing in an aisle in the grocery story and suddenly, for just a moment, I was overwhelmed with emotion.

What on Earth could have been so emotional in a grocery store aisle, you ask? Was I reading sweet, gooey greeting cards?

You may become even more confused when I tell you that I was standing in the deodorant aisle. That's right, somewhere between the Secret and the Ban, and the Old Spice, I felt a huge lump form in my throat and my eyes got a little misty.

You see, I had added something new to my grocery list today. Deodorant for my 8 year old son.

Say what?

That's right, today I was passing Evan in the hall following a basketball game and holy cow! Right there in the hallway was the stench of a grown man coming from a little boy's body. Ok, ok, he's not so little anymore. But, I knew right then and there that I needed to add deodorant to my list. Didn't think another thing about it.

Went to the store, walked down the aisle and began looking for the right deodorant. Something for sensitive skin, since it was new to him. Nothing with too much odor. No Axe, please. Not quite ready to attract the ladies, just yet. And right then and there while I searched and sniffed, and tried to decide, it hit me.

I was buying deodorant for my son. I was buying deodorant for my boy. I was buying deodorant for my baby boy. I was buying deodorant for my baby.

And for just a moment I stood there and let that sink in. I recalled his soft, sweet, smelling baby head. I thought about his soft, white, toddler hair and the smell of the top of his head. I thought about the smell of baby sunscreen on his warm skin in summer. I thought about his precious little smile and his chubby little cheeks, and his cute little hands, and his tiny little feet. And the lump grew bigger and my eyes got even mistier.

And then I realized, I'm about to cry right here in the deodorant aisle. I looked around hastily to see who might be watching (no one was there, thank goodness). And then I swallowed the lump. I picked a non-scented deodorant for sensitive skin. I tossed it in my buggy and I pushed away the memories  as I pushed my buggy out of that aisle. I switched from the smell of my baby and focused on that stench I'd smelled in the hallway today coming from my baby who is quickly becoming as tall as I am and I finished my grocery shopping.

We are moving fast around here these days. Too fast in a lot of ways. But, you can't stop time and there were groceries to buy that day and there was a smelly 8 year old boy who needed that deodorant. And so, I moved on, and saved myself the embarrassment of a full-out sob-fest in the deodorant aisle.

And, now the real work begins.... Trying to convince him to actually wear it. Or wash. With actual soap.

8 year old boys, sigh.

What Did You Learn Today?

So, the night before the first day of kindergarten I read Chloe a book about the first day of kindergarten. I carefully tucked her in and kissed her good night. And then she asked me a question:

"What will I do in kindergarten?"

I figured she was feeling a little nervous, so I assured her it would be so much fun. They would sing songs, and paint, and color. They would learn their letters and the sounds they make. They would learn their numbers and how to count. They would learn to read words and then sentences, and finally books. They would learn to add and subtract."

To my surprise, she burst into tears. "What's wrong?" I asked anxiously, surprised by her reaction.

She wailed, "I already know all of that! I won't learn anything new!"

Knowing she was prone to drama at bedtime anyway, I just assured her she would learn new things and told her to go to sleep.

Well, today she came home from school, very excited.

Chloe: Did you know that a caterpillar sheds its skin every 4-5 days?

Me: No, I didn't.

Chloe: Yup, it outgrows it.Turns out there are things to learn at school that I don't already know."

Crazy Summer Days

We have had a wonderful, wonderful summer! I am so dreading seeing it come to an end (in less than 2 weeks, gulp). We had a great vacation and then returned to immediately take a mini-vacation to Wilderness in the Smokies as the kids and I tagged along on a conference Matthew was attending there. That was lots of fun. The kids and I spent the days at Dollywood and we all spent the evenings together at the Water Parks at the Wilderness. Matthew was fortunate to receive a promotion this year and will now be the principal of a different middle school in our school system. We are so happy and excited for him, but it means he's had to work most of the summer so the kids and I have been entertaining ourselves. We've seen several movies, had some playdates, attended some birthday parties and spent lots and lots of days at home and at our next door neighbor's pool. I still have more pictures from this summer to share, but while I'm getting those ready, I thought you would enjoy some crazy kidisms from this summer!

But first, one afternoon the kids entertained themselves in the playroom. I noticed Chloe sitting at her vanity and Evan was curling her hair and putting her "make-up" on. Hmm, I didn't want to interrupt. After a time, Evan said Chloe was going to do a fashion show. This is what I saw...

And then, Evan informed me that Chloe owed him $10 out of her birthday money because that is what she agreed to pay him for her make-over. I agreed to $1.00. He said, "Ok, I'll give her the family discount."

Some other crazy kidisms from the summer:

Chloe:
"I'm better than right. I'm correct!"
"Curse your soul! I'm sleeping with Mommy!" (she wasn't happy her daddy was asking her to sleep in her bed).
(Bending over) "Feast your eyes!" (this was from the movie Brave, you know, where the men wear kilts, ahem).
(At breakfast time) "Give me a fork! I'm gonna cut that baby up! Sayonara egg!"

I got an i-phone this summer! Yay! Evan has been begging me for my Blackberry (which doesn't work anyway).

Me: You don't need a phone, Evan.
Chloe: Yeah, you don't need a phone or a blackberry!

Chloe fell asleep really early one evening, so I carried her up to bed. Unfortunately for us, she woke up around 10:00 and came downstairs as Matthew and I were watching a movie. She comes into the family room and says,
"Well, I see you guys are hanging out."

When she received her "Super Slushy Maker" (the one thing she had repeatedly asked for) for her birthday, she was so excited! She said, "Frozen fun for everyone!"  Those advertisers know what they are doing.

She also told me we need to buy the NeatDesk thingie because it is the "only scanner that thinks".

Evan has had many adventures this summer as well. He decided he wanted to write, direct, and produce a movie. So, he spent days and many pages of a composition book writing the script of his zombie movie. He kept asking quesitons, like "Can we use ketchup for blood?", "Can we use the car in one scene?" We still haven't actually "shot" the movie, but maybe soon.

He also received a "Diary of a Wimpy Kid Do-it yourself Book" and has spent many hours writing and drawing in that.

The latest adventure we have taken on is Geocaching. Have you heard of it? Basically you download this app to your phone and then you can search for hidden boxes (caches) near you. These things are hidden all over the world. We couldn't believe how many there were within just a few miles of our (very rural) home. So, we went on our first adventure last night. You basically send the longitude and latitude coordinates to the GPS in your phone (we also entered them into the GPS in our car, to help us out) and then you follow a map and compass to the treasure. It gives you a brief description and a little clue. This particular adventure was called "The Old Homestead". It was supposed to be a cache that had been placed on some property that his family had once owned. Supposedly some relatives still lived there and knew about the cache. We followed the map and compass (and spoken directions) to some private property in our town. We were looking around in some pine trees for the cache because the clue was "O Tanenbaum" when the property owners came driving out of their driveway. I was kind of embarrassed, but they were nice. The descriptions said they knew about the cache, but they didn't seem to. Matthew spent quite a bit of time trying to explain to them what we were doing and why (kind of hard to explain why) and then finally, the man told us that his 4 year old grandson had found the camouflaged tube in a different pine tree a few weeks ago and that it had a little yellow rabbit inside. Too, funny! Evan was pretty disappointed that it had already been discovered. It said, you could take the item if you replace it with something of equal value, so the kids had brought a few toys just in case. But, it was a fun adventure for a summer evening. We are going to try another one tonight.

We have loved our laid-back, lazy, FUN summer!

Chloe Means Business

We are hanging out in Dad's office while he has a meeting with all of the kids' parents who are going on the 8th grade trip. Chloe is over it. She just asked me in a very hateful voice, "When are we gettin' outta here?!" I replied, "I don't know."

Her response, "Girl, you are a PAIN!"

Evan was trying to help her on a game on the i-pad and she told him, "You mess up my game and I mess up your life."

This girl means business! I'm not messing with her.

Just Everyday Silliness

Silly sayings of late:

Evan: Mom, skip this part (of Spiderman), there's bad language and Chloe doesn't need to hear that.

Chloe: E-VAN! I want to hear the bad words!

Evan: You can't hear them, you are too young.

Chloe: (starts crying) I want to he-ar the ba-ad wo-rds!

Evan: I'm sorry. You can hear them when you are my age. I was going to let you when you were four, but not now that you're crying.


At a recent birthday party I notice my pretty little girl with her entire hand in her mouth licking the icing from her fingers. I say, "Chloe, use your napkin, honey." She looks at the pink, polka-dotted napkin lying beside her and then looks back at me with a horrified look on her face. "Momma! It's too pretty!"

Last night, we rented two movies from Redbox. Hop for the kids and Cowboys Versus Aliens (guess who picked out the movies) for us. We thought the kids might watch their movie while we watched ours. Chloe had other ideas. On one of her million trips into the family room to interrupt our movie, she says, "Is this movie appropriate?" Matthew said, "No, it is not appropriate for you." She said, "I don't think it is appropriate for you either!"

This morning Chloe got up and was on the potty while I was in the shower. As I started to get out, I asked if she was finished. She said, "Well, of course I am."

On the way home from ballet:
Chloe: Mom, can we discuss gymnastics?
Me: Do you want to take gymnastics?
Chloe: I want to discuss it.
Me: What do you want to discuss about it?
Chloe: Well, this is what we'll do. I'll discuss it and when I'm finished you say, "yes".
Me: Yes to what?
Chloe: (sighs deeply) Mom, weren't you listening?
Me: Yes, but I don't understand.
Chloe: (another deep sigh) All you need to remember is "yes", got it?

Evanisms and Chloe Cuties- Spring Edition!

After Evan's musical (see the post below), we told him that while he was backstage getting ready his dad had gone onstage and sang the Pokemon song over the microphone for everyone. He didn't believe us, but was still a little unsure. When we finally admitted, he had not taken the stage, Evan said,

"Whew! I didn't want Dad to spoil my life!"

On the way home, we stopped for milkshakes. From the backseat, Evan says, "How does mom drink her milkshake so fast?" What can I say? It is an art form. Years and years of practice, son. Matthew answered him, "She just sucks it down. She doesn't play around!" Chloe said,

"I sucked it down, too! I don't play with it either!"

We were watching Tangled in the car. Chloe said, "When we watch this movie, Evan says it is "Tangled", but it is really called, "Rapunzel" because that is her name, right?" I told her, "The movie is called "Tangled" and her name is "Rapunzel", so you are both kind of right." Chloe answered, "but I'm righter, right?"

During one part of the movie, Chloe said, "That is heewarious! I falled on the floor laughing! I was rollin'! It was HEE-warious!"

When we got home, Chloe didn't want to go inside because she didn't want to miss the movie. I said, "Why don't we go in and eat dinner and then you can watch the movie in bedroom." She said, "I KNOW! We can eat dinner and watch the movie after dinner!" I said, "Great idea! I wish I had thought of that!" She said, "Me, too! Wait a minute, I did think of that!"

Be sure to look at all the new posts from April! You may have to click "older posts"!

More Kidspeak

While reading "The Little Red Hen",
Matthew: Her friends don't seem very nice.
Evan: Oh, just wait a few pages, they get their karma.

Random stranger: How old are you?
Chloe: three
Random stranger: And when will you be four?
Chloe: I'll be four on my next birthday. (the duh was implied)

Matthew: Boy, it's really raining today.
Evan: Ya think?

Matthew: Chloe! Don't fall out of your chair!
Chloe: I didn't do it on purpose! Now I'm going to fight you!

Matthew: Your shoes are on the wrong feet.
Chloe: If you say that one more time you are getting a spanking!

Evan's recent note to his teacher (his words):

I am sorry I drew pictures and wrote things that were inappropriate in class. I will not draw or write about blood or killing again. I'm sorry.

Note to us: No more violent video games for a while. 

So Embarrassing

Matthew was being goofy with Evan last night. Evan was carrying around a toy shotgun (these are important when you are hunting bears) and everytime Evan said "shotgun", Matthew would start singing at the top of his lungs.

"Shot through the heart! And you're to blame!" and then Chloe would finish like clockwork, "Darlin' you give love a bad name!"

Evan was getting more and more agitated as he was trying to have a serious conversation with his dad about weaponry and it was urgent since there were bears on the loose. Evan kept rolling his eyes and griping.

Matthew said, "I'm just being crazy!"

Evan: "Why?"

Matthew: "Dad's are just crazy sometimes. It's the law."

Evan: "That doesn't make any sense. You are embarrassing."

Matthew: "That's another law. Parents must embarrass their children. Would it embarrass you if we were around your friends and I said, "SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! AND YOU'RE TO BLAME!" (Chloe: Darlin' you give love a bad name!)?

Evan: "Uh, ye-ah! Because everyone would think you were weird. And besides, they might think I was a maniac, too."

Matthew: "So, basically you are saying I'm a maniac."

Evan: "Pretty much."

Matthew: SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME!

Chloe: Daaaa- dddyyy, stop doing that!

Matthew: DARLIN YOU GIVE LOVE....

Chloe: (eye roll) Daaaa-aaaad.....(sly little smile) "a bad name".

The Natural

Chloe: Will you get Evan's baseball helmet down for me? (pointing to a football helmet)
Me: It's a football helmet, honey, but sure. (Get it down and put it on her).
Chloe: Alright! Playin' some basketball!
Me: You mean football.
Chloe: Right. Football. All you have to do is just kick the ball in the net!

Maybe we should sign up for cheerleading, honey.

TV's Toughest Trainer

Chloe likes to workout with me. She is very encouraging. She often tells me, "You're doing so good, mama!". I really appreciate the encouragement because Jillian Michaels can be tough!

So, the other day she was working out with me and Jillian said, "If you feel like you're going to die, follow Anita." Chloe promptly said, "Whew! Man! I feel like I'm gonna DIE doing this!"

Evan came in and did a few exercises and then said, "That's enough for me. I'm not an exercise guy." Chloe said, "Evan! Exercise is healthy for you!" About that time, Jillian said, "Hang in there!" Chloe said, "Evan she said hang in there!"

But the funniest was when Chloe told me I looked like one of the girls working out with Jillian. I assumed she meant the blonde with the pony tail, but nope she thought I looked just like the African American girl.

More Funnies

Matthew was being a wise guy this morning and I said, "Don't be a smart alec."

Evan: "Can I be a smart alec? I want to be the smartest alec there ever was!"

Poor Evan had a pretty bad bike wreck the other night. It was his first trip around the block on his new bike and he lost control going down a pretty big hill. When I got to him, he said, "This bike is just too fast! Can't you slow it down?" I explained to him that that would be what his brakes were for.

As I was cleaning up his wounds, he was getting slightly hysterical so I told him to calm down. He said, "I can't. I am literally terrified!"

Chloe chowed down on some chips and pretty spicy queso at dinner tonight. As a result her cheeks turned bright red. I was a little concerned because they were still very red even on the way home. In her usual fashion she was narrating the ride home in song:

"Oh, I'm so excited and I'm so happy and my cheeks are still red, but that's just the deeeeeaaaal."

Some Chloe Cuteness

Chloe is so funny! Remember all those Evanisms I used to post? Well, Chloe is just as full of them, but I can't seem to remember them long enough to get them on the blog. I did jot a few down yesterday, however.

Yesterday evening we were all waiting on Matthew to finish mowing the yard (and starving). Chloe was asking for something, anything, to eat and I was trying to hold her off so she wouldn't spoil her dinner.

Me: I want you to wait until dinner, so you will eat your dinner.

Chloe: What are we eating?

Me: Macaroni and meat.

Chloe: I like meat! What kind of meat?

Me: Steak.

Chloe: MMMMM! I LOVE snake meat!!

A little while later, Chloe had disappeared. I yelled for her and she came running out of the pantry.

Me: What are you doing?

Chloe: Eating doughnuts.

Me: Well, that's what I thought because your mouth is covered in sugar.

Chloe: That's because doughnuts are covered in sugar.

Me: That's right, they are.

Chloe: I know! Because I'm super smart and super strong (puts arms up to show muscles).

Chloe is going through a phase where she is scared of everything. Gone are her daredevil days. On our first trip to Dollywood this year we were shocked to discover she was terrified of all but the little baby rides. She was even afraid on the carousel, which has been her favorite since she was a little tiny baby! We figure this will probably transfer over to the ocean and pool this year as well. The other night she asked to ride her tricycle and then promptly hopped off and announced she was too scared. She is also afraid at night a lot. She had trouble going to sleep and often wakes multiple times at night. She also has nightmares and wakes up crying and screaming. I've discovered she talks in her sleep quite a bit as she is often not even awake when I go up to comfort her. I hate that she is so afraid, but the topics of her nightmares are somewhat amusing. Here are a few...

Matthew wouldn't give her a chocolate cupcake.
Oliver was sitting in her chair.
Her granddaddy wouldn't give her a sucker.
and this morning we heard her yell out..."Give me back my toothbrush!"

Do you see a common theme? I am so thankful that she has nothing else to have nightmares about.

This morning Matthew asked her how her night was and she said she was "mad, "angery", and "gumpy" all night long".

Even though I really hate that she is having all of these fears and am disappointed that it looks like she won't be having as much fun this summer as I thought as a result of them, it is pretty cute to hear her say "I am so "scarwerd."

Yesterday when the Schwan's man came, she wanted ice cream. I was looking through the book to find the ice cream we wanted and she said, "Vanilla ice cream for Chloe- bug, please.", and then folded her little hands under her chin, gave him an angelic smile, tilted her head, and batted her eyelashes at him. I swear, we are in so much trouble. Where does she learn this stuff? I certainly don't flirt like that!

Another favorite of mine about her right now is she LOVES to sing and dance. She will often narrate whatever is happening in song, so our lives are like one big musical. "Oh, I'm standing beside my momma while she gets my clothes on so we can go outsiiiiiiiide!" That type of thing.

She can be a real handful! She knows what she wants and goes after it. She is much more aggressive than Evan ever was at this age. But, she is also really sweet when she wants to be. She snuggles and gives kisses and hugs. She asks me to rock her occasionally at night and I just soak it up because I know those days are very, very limited. She is growing so fast, I can hardly believe it. Last night, she was snuggling on the couch with me and I was stroking her hair which is getting so long and I thought back to how I used to wonder if she would EVER have any hair. It just goes by so fast! I can't believe she is almost 3 and will go to preschool next year.

Some Days You Gotta Dance!

Don't worry, Evan is not having a seizure. He is "Just Dancing". He has been begging me forever to video him and send it to his teacher. Well, I was a little worried that he might be disappointed when he actually saw himself on video. I thought he might realize that he didn't look quite as coordinated, graceful, and cool in real life as he feels like he does when he's dancing. He was thrilled with his performance, however. At one point toward the end, he said, "That's the part I have trouble with, but I got it this time!" Gotta love the confidence that goes along with being 5.

There was one part in the video he was disappointed in, however. At the end when I say, "Yay!". His response: Big eye roll and "Mooom, did you have to say that?!"

I guess your mom saying "yay" is so not cool in kindergarten. Geez! What was I thinking?

Evanisms- Furture Salesman Version

"Dad, do you ever get tired of scrubbing your feet in the shower? Because they have this new thing. It can stick to any solid surface so you won't fall and you just step into it and it scrubs your feet for you. And there is this hard thing in there so if your feet are rough, then it will make them soft as a blanket. And it also gives your feet a gentle massage. If I see one I'll buy one for you. Or you can call and buy it. And if you call and buy it, you get double."

"Mom, I saw this thing you would like, too. It's like that little shirt you wear (a camisole), only it is just half of one. And it hooks right to your bra. And if you don't have one, then your boss at work might say you need to cover up a little." (Matthew said when this commercial was on he said, "My mom needs that. When's her birthday?" Oh my.)

Other Evanisms:

"I can even speak Paris French!"

"Mom, what do girls like that boys can do?" (Ummmm.....)

"Mom, are angels real? Or make believe? I don't think they are real.
(Me: They are real.)
"Prove it."
(I can't prove it. You just have to believe like you believe in God. Maybe one day you will be lucky enough to have an experience with an angel.)
"Oh, yeah. They are up there (points to the sky) like God. But, is Cupid real?"
(I don't think so.)
"Yeah, I didn't think so either or else there would be a lot more people shot with arrows on Valentine's Day."

I Knew It!

So, Evan heard me reading my last post out loud to Matthew just now and shouts enthusiastically from the family room....

"YES! Those sneaky classroom leprochauns stole my hood! We get robbed everyday by those leprochauns!"

I knew it.

Karma

Remember when I told you about how we teach our kids about karma (even though we are definitely not buddhists)? Well it kinda bit me in the rear end today, myself.... again.

Remember how I told you how Evan kind of resembles one of my most challenging students ever? Little precious Riley, aka Spiderman, who walked home from school one day?

If you don't remember those things, that's ok. I don't feel like posting links. Just bear with me. I finally came to a startling discovery today.

Everything that I've ever complained about that drives me crazy about students that I teach seem to be reincarnated in my son now that he is a student.

So, for example, laziness drives me CRAZY! I can deal with can't all day long. I can take can't and amaze the socks off the kid when I prove to them that they can. But won't? I can't stand won't. GRRRR!

Well, guess who doesn't like to actually, um, WORK? That would be my son. Ask him to write his name and he'll try to write his initials. The other day his homework said to color his "favorite" sight word on the computer keyboard on his homework. Guess what his favorite sight word turned out to be?

"I"

Yup.

But, this is just to prove a point. I didn't actually realize the pattern until today. Here is what happened today. Evan arrived at NMS from his school and deposited his stuff in his dad's office. Later, I came in to gather it all up and take it home. I noticed his hood had been unsnapped from his jacket and was missing. I asked Matthew if he knew where it was. He didn't. He paged Evan to the office over the intercom. Evan arrived at the office. We said, "Evan, where is the hood to your jacket?"

He looked confused for a moment, appeared to think hard about the question, and then shrugged his shoulders. "Someone must've stolen it. That's all I can think of."

Yes, parents, didn't you know? Anytime something is missing at school someone "stole it". That is the standard answer.

Where's your pencil? Shrug. Someone stole it.

Where's your homework? Shrug. Someone stole it.

Where's your math book? Shrug. Someone stole it.

You may remember how I not-so-kindly suggested to you to never utter the words, "My child has/would never lie to me." in a parent/teacher conference? (Again, if you don't just take the advice now).

Well, close behind that is this advice. Chances are your child is not a daily victim of theft of pencils, homework, textbooks, gym clothes, and jackets. In general, text books are not hot items in the schoolyard black market. Just pointing out the obvious here. So, if your child blames his poor grades, lack of organization, or unpreparedness on the wave of unsolved crime going on in his classroom you can be fairly safe in calling bullhockey on that one.

Which is exactly what we did today. But, not before I marveled at the fact that I literally just today said these words in my classroom not once but three times: "Just because you can't find it, doesn't mean that someone has stolen it." That statement applied to a pencil, an AR book, and a yellow folder in three different class periods. And, finally, to a black hood that was once attached to a nice jacket from The Children's Place.

And, not surprisingly when we walked over to his classroom, there was the hood in the floor under the coat rack. The mystery now is how it became unattached.

Because Evan definitely "doesn't remember" unsnapping it. Those sneaky classroom leprochauns strike again! Darn it!

Chloe Says the Daggone Dang It Darnedest Things!

Daggone Dang It!
Say it with us!
Daggone Dang It!
Say it louder!
Daggone Dang It!
(to the rhythm from Dora).

----Chloe

(P.S. Does anyone know the proper spelling of "daggone"? It seems it is a high frequency word here on this blog and it's time I learned to spell it.)

**Spelling edited according to the Urban Dictionary's proclamation.

You daggon right! 1


*Pronounced Day-gone*  (But that's not really how I say it. Am I not southern enough?)


Used in the south, this expression can be said for three circumstances:




1) When something is definetly true, correct, or exciting


2) Said after disbelief or shock


3) Owning up to something






1) "Man you were on fire the other day!"


"You daggon right"


2) "Bob died the other night"


"You daggon right?"


3) "Did you finish the project?"


"You daggon right!"

Wait! WAIT! Wait just a cotton pickin' minute! I think I had the wrong daggone slang word. This is more like it:

Country word enthusiastically expressing disgust and/or surprise. Closly related to "dadgum"



Been pickin' taters all day and still gotta bail the hay...Daggone!!


Daggone!! Thats the ugliest baby I've ever seen!!

Or possibly:

A polite way of saying "a really, really bad and ugly word that I would never ever say that starts with our Lord's name"



I stepped in the dogs daggone poop.

Or even:

Something important that is constantly acting up or having to be dealt with. Mel Kiper's favorite word.



Trade messes up my daggone top 10!

I was not, however, aware of this definition:

When you want to let all of your buddies know that a hot ass girl just walked into the room without her knowing.



"Hey Tommy, did you get those Daggone TPS reports done yet?"

Or this one:

When you see a hot ass girl and you want to compliment her without her knowing.



When she walks by you say "Daggone it's hot out here!"

Wonder what that says about me? Well, daggone it!

Very official definitions all courtesy of Urban Dictionary.

Now to re-edit my original post. Glad I got that all cleared up.