Monday, August 31, 2015
Days Are Fleeting, Memories Are Forever- August
Days are fleeting, memories are forever- a monthly collection of snapshots, mostly iPhone pictures, often selfies of the kids, that capture our day to day random adventures....
Friday, August 28, 2015
Nothing to See Here
So, Monday night Matthew was washing Chloe's hair and found a dent in her head. Yes, you read that correctly. He brought her to me to feel and she did in fact have about a dime-sized, pretty noticeable dent in the back of her skull a little to the right of the middle of her head. In fact, it kind of turned my stomach when I felt it.
I called and made her an appointment to have it checked out at the pediatrician the next day. We couldn't figure out what in the world it was. We were pretty certain that it had not been there her entire life because surely we would have felt it by now. She had not hit her head on anything that we (or she) knew of.
When we got to the dr. I think they thought I was crazy. The dr. was all ready to humor me and tell me it was her normal head. But, then he felt it and he suddenly went from humoring me to puzzled. He'd never felt anything like that before. She was a medical mystery. He was pretty sure it was nothing to be concerned about since it was bone all the way through and didn't hurt her in any way, and since she was acting completely normal and had basically no medical symptoms of any kind. He ordered some skull x-rays just to be sure and they came back normal, so we are in the clear.
The funny thing was when we got home, my mom and Lynn had been watching Caroline and they both felt Chloe's head. They were asking her if it hurt or anything and she said,
"No. If people would stop reminding me, I wouldn't even know it was there. I'd just be walking around, like, 'Nothin' strange here. Just a normal head. Nope, no dents in this head. It's really not very noticeable to me.'
I called and made her an appointment to have it checked out at the pediatrician the next day. We couldn't figure out what in the world it was. We were pretty certain that it had not been there her entire life because surely we would have felt it by now. She had not hit her head on anything that we (or she) knew of.
When we got to the dr. I think they thought I was crazy. The dr. was all ready to humor me and tell me it was her normal head. But, then he felt it and he suddenly went from humoring me to puzzled. He'd never felt anything like that before. She was a medical mystery. He was pretty sure it was nothing to be concerned about since it was bone all the way through and didn't hurt her in any way, and since she was acting completely normal and had basically no medical symptoms of any kind. He ordered some skull x-rays just to be sure and they came back normal, so we are in the clear.
The funny thing was when we got home, my mom and Lynn had been watching Caroline and they both felt Chloe's head. They were asking her if it hurt or anything and she said,
"No. If people would stop reminding me, I wouldn't even know it was there. I'd just be walking around, like, 'Nothin' strange here. Just a normal head. Nope, no dents in this head. It's really not very noticeable to me.'
Friday, August 21, 2015
College Girl
Matthew: Well, I'm going to wipe out your all's college funds in the next couple of weeks to pay for a roof over the deck.
Evan: Ok (continues watching his you tube video on his phone)
Chloe: NO! (swings and hits Matthew in the chest with her binder) I have GOT to go to COLLEGE! Do NOT TOUCH my college money! You can take all of Evan's, but leave mine alone.
Way to go, baby girl. You make Mommy (and Daddy) proud.
Another recent Chloe funny:
Her teacher told me that they had been discussing all the responsibilities adults have in the home (like cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc) in relation to their story they were reading. Chloe apparently said, "An adult in my house naps."
Her teacher responded, "Your mommy probably doesn't have a lot of time to nap, but she needs it because she has to get up with the baby. "
Chloe's reply: "Not that adult."
Evan: Ok (continues watching his you tube video on his phone)
Chloe: NO! (swings and hits Matthew in the chest with her binder) I have GOT to go to COLLEGE! Do NOT TOUCH my college money! You can take all of Evan's, but leave mine alone.
Way to go, baby girl. You make Mommy (and Daddy) proud.
Another recent Chloe funny:
Her teacher told me that they had been discussing all the responsibilities adults have in the home (like cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc) in relation to their story they were reading. Chloe apparently said, "An adult in my house naps."
Her teacher responded, "Your mommy probably doesn't have a lot of time to nap, but she needs it because she has to get up with the baby. "
Chloe's reply: "Not that adult."
Life's About Change and Nothing Ever Stays the Same
The other day I read a blog post called "When Was the Last Time I Washed Her Hair?". It was all about how the "last times" just come and go and you don't realize it was the "last time" until some time later when you realize it hasn't happened in a while, i.e. the last time you wash your daughter's hair in the bath or shower. The last time you nurse your baby. The last time you rock your baby/toddler to sleep. The last time you carry your sleeping child to bed. The last time you hold or carry your child, period. The last time you carry them on your shoulders. The last time they come into your bed in the middle of the night.
The last time you lay down with your child at night until they fall asleep.
This really struck home with me. Evan has passed all of those "lasts" and they just slipped away unnoticed at the time. I think a new baby expediates some of the lasts. I know it did with him. The holding, carrying, laying down with him at night, etc. Chloe's arrival shifted a lot of those duties to his dad and my "last" probably came quicker than it would have without her arrival. It is hard to even remember a time when I carried him (he's almost as tall as me) or laid down with him at night, or even cuddled with him on the couch! He's so big and grown up now.
But Chloe was my baby. These privileges had stretched out far longer than they had with him. Prior to the news of Caroline's approaching arrival, I still washed her hair for her, sometimes carried her sleeping to bed, and laid with her until she fell asleep pretty much every night. In fact, I usually fell asleep before her and slept half the night in her bed.
Once I found out Caroline was coming, I couldn't carry her anymore. She was too heavy. So, that last came and went. But, I continued to lay with her at night every night. I was so tired now, that I OFTEN slept half the night with her. She and I facing each other. Sometimes holding hands. My baby.
I warned her that when Caroline arrived I would not be able to do this anymore because I would have to be in my bedroom with Caroline so I could feed her. We thought briefly about trying to get her to go to sleep on her own before Caroline came, but I was so darn tired it was easier to just continue our routine.
Finally the time came. Caroline arrived and I was needed elsewhere at night. Matthew laid down with her some, but it wasn't the same. She actually slept in my room with me until school started back, but I knew that once school was back in session she needed to sleep without the interruption of Caroline waking. One night we had sent her to bed and told her he would come up there after I went to bed with Caroline. I was nursing on the couch. I finished and handed her to Matthew and was going to change out the laundry. As I walked by Chloe's room, I heard her crying softly. I went in and asked her what was wrong.
"I just want everything to go back to how it was when it was just Daddy, you, Evan, and me," she answered in a very small voice.
My heart stopped and broke all at the same time. I had to fight back tears. I knew how much it took for her to admit this to me. I knew how much she desperately loved her baby sister and yet she was admitting that she was grieving. Grieving a point in time when things were different. Grieving a point in time when things were simpler. When mommy was more free. When mommy was more "hers". It hurt. I hurt for her. She was 7. She was older, more mature. She knew better than to be jealous like a 2 or 3 year old. She understood that it couldn't be helped. She knew Caroline needed mommy right now more than everyone else in the house. She knew Caroline had physical needs that only mommy could meet. Her brain knew all of that, but in her heart, she grieved.
I took my middle baby in my arms. I hugged her tight. I kissed her face. I assured her that it would not be like this forever. In a few months, Caroline would be going to bed early and we would have time at night together. Caroline would take afternoon naps and we would have time together. It is just right now that Mommy is so busy with her. But, even as I said the words, my heart broke a little because I knew what she didn't. It was true, in a few months Caroline would be going to bed early, but what I knew was that Chloe wouldn't need me in the same way. By then, she'd be going to bed on her own. She wouldn't need me to lay with her until she fell asleep. The "last" would have passed. So, that night, while Matthew held Caroline downstairs I left the laundry alone and I laid down with middle baby girl until she fell asleep. We snuggled together, facing each other, and held hands. I fell asleep, too, and slept until Matthew appeared holding a hungry baby. I didn't know for sure, but if that was my "last" I was going to make it count.
Since then, we started a new routine. I hand Caroline off to Matthew and lay down with Chloe until she (and I, usually) fall asleep. He either puts Caroline to sleep or holds her until her next feeding and then comes and wakes me up.
The problem is that some nights her feeding schedule is off. Some nights Matthew has meetings or open houses or ballgames and when he gets home right at bedtime, he still needs to eat dinner and can't take Caroline. So, several nights, we've had to send Chloe on to bed with the promise that someone would come up in a little while. Every time she's been asleep when we arrive in her room. When I see that sleeping girl, my heart breaks a little more. "Did I miss my last?", I think to myself.
And we won't even mention that I haven't had to help her with her hair in weeks...
Having another baby is bittersweet in a way. I am so unbelievably grateful that I will get to experience all those firsts and lasts all over again when I thought they were forever gone, but it is still hurts a little to see your previous "baby" growing up a little quicker once the new baby arrives. Having your third baby is an even more bittersweet experience in a lot of ways because you are so stinkin' busy it is hard to savor the firsts and lasts with any of them. It makes it easier in a lot of ways, but if I let myself think about it, it makes me sad as well. But, having your third baby is nice because I know as each last passes that great things are in store. It makes it a little easier to not mourn the passing of stages quite as much as I did with my first or even with my second when I thought she was my "last". I know it just gets better and better, so I will do my best to enjoy the stage we're in while we're there and welcome the next stage when it comes with all 3 of my children.
The last time you lay down with your child at night until they fall asleep.
This really struck home with me. Evan has passed all of those "lasts" and they just slipped away unnoticed at the time. I think a new baby expediates some of the lasts. I know it did with him. The holding, carrying, laying down with him at night, etc. Chloe's arrival shifted a lot of those duties to his dad and my "last" probably came quicker than it would have without her arrival. It is hard to even remember a time when I carried him (he's almost as tall as me) or laid down with him at night, or even cuddled with him on the couch! He's so big and grown up now.
But Chloe was my baby. These privileges had stretched out far longer than they had with him. Prior to the news of Caroline's approaching arrival, I still washed her hair for her, sometimes carried her sleeping to bed, and laid with her until she fell asleep pretty much every night. In fact, I usually fell asleep before her and slept half the night in her bed.
Once I found out Caroline was coming, I couldn't carry her anymore. She was too heavy. So, that last came and went. But, I continued to lay with her at night every night. I was so tired now, that I OFTEN slept half the night with her. She and I facing each other. Sometimes holding hands. My baby.
I warned her that when Caroline arrived I would not be able to do this anymore because I would have to be in my bedroom with Caroline so I could feed her. We thought briefly about trying to get her to go to sleep on her own before Caroline came, but I was so darn tired it was easier to just continue our routine.
Finally the time came. Caroline arrived and I was needed elsewhere at night. Matthew laid down with her some, but it wasn't the same. She actually slept in my room with me until school started back, but I knew that once school was back in session she needed to sleep without the interruption of Caroline waking. One night we had sent her to bed and told her he would come up there after I went to bed with Caroline. I was nursing on the couch. I finished and handed her to Matthew and was going to change out the laundry. As I walked by Chloe's room, I heard her crying softly. I went in and asked her what was wrong.
"I just want everything to go back to how it was when it was just Daddy, you, Evan, and me," she answered in a very small voice.
My heart stopped and broke all at the same time. I had to fight back tears. I knew how much it took for her to admit this to me. I knew how much she desperately loved her baby sister and yet she was admitting that she was grieving. Grieving a point in time when things were different. Grieving a point in time when things were simpler. When mommy was more free. When mommy was more "hers". It hurt. I hurt for her. She was 7. She was older, more mature. She knew better than to be jealous like a 2 or 3 year old. She understood that it couldn't be helped. She knew Caroline needed mommy right now more than everyone else in the house. She knew Caroline had physical needs that only mommy could meet. Her brain knew all of that, but in her heart, she grieved.
I took my middle baby in my arms. I hugged her tight. I kissed her face. I assured her that it would not be like this forever. In a few months, Caroline would be going to bed early and we would have time at night together. Caroline would take afternoon naps and we would have time together. It is just right now that Mommy is so busy with her. But, even as I said the words, my heart broke a little because I knew what she didn't. It was true, in a few months Caroline would be going to bed early, but what I knew was that Chloe wouldn't need me in the same way. By then, she'd be going to bed on her own. She wouldn't need me to lay with her until she fell asleep. The "last" would have passed. So, that night, while Matthew held Caroline downstairs I left the laundry alone and I laid down with middle baby girl until she fell asleep. We snuggled together, facing each other, and held hands. I fell asleep, too, and slept until Matthew appeared holding a hungry baby. I didn't know for sure, but if that was my "last" I was going to make it count.
Since then, we started a new routine. I hand Caroline off to Matthew and lay down with Chloe until she (and I, usually) fall asleep. He either puts Caroline to sleep or holds her until her next feeding and then comes and wakes me up.
The problem is that some nights her feeding schedule is off. Some nights Matthew has meetings or open houses or ballgames and when he gets home right at bedtime, he still needs to eat dinner and can't take Caroline. So, several nights, we've had to send Chloe on to bed with the promise that someone would come up in a little while. Every time she's been asleep when we arrive in her room. When I see that sleeping girl, my heart breaks a little more. "Did I miss my last?", I think to myself.
And we won't even mention that I haven't had to help her with her hair in weeks...
Having another baby is bittersweet in a way. I am so unbelievably grateful that I will get to experience all those firsts and lasts all over again when I thought they were forever gone, but it is still hurts a little to see your previous "baby" growing up a little quicker once the new baby arrives. Having your third baby is an even more bittersweet experience in a lot of ways because you are so stinkin' busy it is hard to savor the firsts and lasts with any of them. It makes it easier in a lot of ways, but if I let myself think about it, it makes me sad as well. But, having your third baby is nice because I know as each last passes that great things are in store. It makes it a little easier to not mourn the passing of stages quite as much as I did with my first or even with my second when I thought she was my "last". I know it just gets better and better, so I will do my best to enjoy the stage we're in while we're there and welcome the next stage when it comes with all 3 of my children.
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Dolphin Love
Chloe's love of dolphins has held strong. She has extended her love from Winter and Hope to all dolphins in general. Last summer, she was usually the dolphin (and she did some of that this summer, too), but a new game has emerged. She is a trainer to our dolphin floats. She takes such good care of her dolphins (and killer whale and sea turtle). Love this girl!
Saturday, August 15, 2015
From a Sister's Perspective
After our 1 month photoshoot, Chloe asked if she could take some pictures of Caroline while she played on her playmat. I loved the pictures she took!
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| We took this one to show Evan that Caroline can already do the breaststroke kick with correct form. |
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| Sweet Sisters! |
Friday, August 14, 2015
1 Month Old
You are one month old, Caroline!
Stats
From your 3 week checkup:
Weight: 8 pounds 8 1/2 ounces (50th%)
Length: 21 1/8 inches (75th percentile)
Head Circumference: 13 1/2 inches (10th percentile)
Weight at 1 month today: 9 pounds 3 1/2 ounces
Loves
Nursing, snuggling (especially with mommy), sleeping in your Rock-n-play, being held by brother and sister, walking outside into the summer heat and humidity with Daddy, going to sleep in Daddy's arms before bedtime.
Hates
Being cold, having your diaper changed, getting undressed/dressed, taking a bath, waiting to eat, sleeping flat in your pack-n-play, being swaddled.
Does
Stretches and makes the most adorable little noises when waking up. Grunts and sometimes snorts when sleeping. Smiles the most adorable smile when sleeping or gassy. Roots and makes the funniest little panicked noises (almost like panting) when hungry and wanting to nurse. Keeps little legs and arms balled up most of the time (just started stretching out more in the last week or two) like you are still in mommy's tummy. Makes a little noise that sounds like "gah" and like you are totally fed up when you are mad.
Eats
Mommy's milk every 2-3 hours, plus 1 oz of formula or mommy's milk in a bottle (for first 3 weeks). You had a tough time nursing at first. Everything seemed fine, but mommy's milk didn't come in right away and you kept losing weight. You got all the way down to 6 pounds 14 oz! Even though you were nursing often and for a long time, you weren't taking much milk. So, we had to supplement with formula or mommy's milk in a bottle. Finally, you started gaining and then you started nursing better and we were able to drop the supplements, so at 1 month you are only drinking mommy's milk.
Sleeps
Most of the time! Goes back to sleep after most feedings. Sleeps in Rock-n-Play, mommy's arms, or on mommy's chest during the day and in the napper of the pack-n-play at night. Has to be woken for most feedings, especially nighttime. I set an alarm to feed you every three-four hours at night until you were back to birth weight and off the formula. At one month you are sleeping at least one 4-5 hour stretch at night and about an hour to two hours between feedings during the day. In the evenings you only sleep about 30-45 minutes between feedings and eat more often.
Favorite Memories from 1st Month
Little "dinosaur" noises and your little back arched with your feet all balled up when stretching.
The smell of your head and the feel of your baby hair and your baby breath.
Seeing your brother and sister meet you for the first time.
Sleeping with you snuggled on my chest.
I can't believe you are already a month old, Caroline. It has been pure bliss getting to know you and love you. You are so precious and perfect, a perfect example of God's love and grace. We love you so very much and are so glad that God chose us to be your family!!
By the way, you also are not crazy about getting your picture made when you'd rather be eating. Here's the evidence:
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