I expect it will bring lots of new "firsts" for you and for us. I know your dad and I will have to learn to navigate parenting an increasingly independent young man. Balancing between letting you go, letting you decide, letting you act and holding on, holding back, advising. It's a tough place to be as a parent- especially for the first time.
Four years. Four years is what we have left with everything just the way it is right now. Four years with all the birds in the nest. Four years to get you ready to fly. Four years for us to get ready to fly. When I think of that, it terrifies me, to be completely honest.
Before you went to kindergarten, I remember this feeling of panic... that you weren't ready. The time had been too short. I had not done enough, taught you enough. I was not ready. I have to admit I feel a little bit like that right now, too. It feels like the beginning of an end, but I'm trying my best not to think of it that way.
Four years. There is a lot of life and love to happen in four years. Four years ago you were turning 10. Still a boy, but beginning to transition into "tween". I can still see that big smile that you still threw away so easily back then. The boy voice from that 10 year old has gone.. it seemed to change overnight. The thin arms and legs are becoming muscular. The soft boy face and jaw replaced by something... harder, firmer, more decisive. Yes, four years goes by quickly, too quickly even... but I'm so grateful for four years. We have a lot to do, a lot to learn in four years and I can't wait for it.
It has been so fun watching you and your friends over the last few weeks of middle school. I'm so glad you have wonderful friends. You are getting ready to enter four of the best years of your life. I know it will not always feel that way, but these next four years are going to be full of fun and amazing memories for you and your friends. I pray that these friendships will continue to strengthen and that you will make friends that will last your whole life.
It is hard for me to even close my eyes and imagine what the next four years will bring... fun, memories, school spirit, driving, dating.... learning, growing, changing. Yes, we both have a lot to do in the next four years. We both have a lot of getting ready to do. But I know we are up to the challenge. I pray that as we learn and grow and change, we do so together and not apart.
Just as I watched you take your first steps away from me... your first steps into school... this fall I will watch you take your first steps toward something else. Something all your own and less of me. Yes, I worry... are we ready? But ready or not, here we go!
Deep down, I know you are. I know you will do amazing things and just as it has been for your entire life, it will be my privilege to watch you learn and grow. I love you so much, Evan. Happy birthday, buddy!
Love,
Mom
