Another First, A Last As Well

Chloe will begin preschool this year. We took her last night to meet her teacher and see her classroom. She has been so excited! She didn't seem afraid at all as she explored the room and played with her teacher. She is very different than Evan was as he began preschool (she is also a year older  and of course we haven't actually left her there yet:). I am so excited for her as well! I know she is ready to make friends and to learn and grow at school. And so as I watched her, I was happy for her.

When we got back in the car she said, "Granddaddy will not believe I am big enough to go to school!" and she had the most excited little smile ever. She was giddy with excitement. And I was happy for her.

But, somewhere deep inside buried under the smiles and the excitement is just the slightest little bit of sadness. Sadness because as excited as I am for Chloe for this "first" in her life, I also have to acknowledge that this is a "last" in my life. The last time my child starts preschool for the first time. I swear these firsts and lasts come and go so quickly! This is one reason I want more children. I'm not ready for the lasts yet. Those lasts hurt somewhere deep inside. And I'm not sure that hurt ever goes away.

With your first it's a different kind of hurt. It's the "My baby is all grown up. How did that happen so fast? How can I slow down time? I miss my little baby!" hurt. That hurt passes. It changes into nostalgia. It does not create an empty place (as long as there is another little baby at home), it just creates those fond memories that you think of with a little slightly, sad smile.

But, with your last it's different. Yes, you can't believe she is all grown up either but also you expected it because now you know how fast it goes. With your last, it's a realization that a time in your life has passed. A time that was looked forward to for the first 26 years of my life with great anticipation is gone so quickly in a mere 6.

My last is beginning preschool. My last is a baby no longer. I no longer have babies. The baby part of my life is gone. And that is a different kind of hurt altogether. I mean, sure, I look back on those memories so fondly. It's not as if I'm overcome with sadness. I smile and laugh and treasure every second of this new stage in my life. It's a wonderful stage. But, still, there is the little bit of sadness. Buried deep down inside. The little bit that leaves a little empty space there. Because there is not another baby at home to bring to her first day preschool.

And so even as I celebrate with whole-hearted excitement my little girl's first, I also must face the tiny bit of buried deep down sadness that comes with my last. In fact, from here on out every first for her will be a last for me. It's a good thing we didn't decide that she would be our last for absolute certain until recently or I would have been a wreck when she was a baby and going through all of her firsts. It was better to tell myself she only might be my last. So, I might have another first step, first word, first Christmas. It is harder when you decide for sure that she will be your last.

Lord, help me when my last has her first day of kindergarten!

Check-ups... Check!

I took Evan for his 6 year check-up two weeks ago. His stats were:

Weight: 50.5 pounds (75th %)
Height: 49 inches   (>95th%)

And Chloe went for her 3 year check-up today. Here stats were:

Weight: 30 pounds (25th %)
Height: 38 inches  (70th %)

Both kids were healthy and doing wonderfully developmentally. I'm so thankful for healthy kids! They were also brave as brave can be when it came to the finger sticks and (for Chloe) shot. Not a single tear was shed! That earned us some Marble Slab today:). (And I do mean "us").

Chloe did prove to be just like her momma and have a shy bladder. She was unable to "pee in the cup" which is the highlight of Evan's visit. I believe that must be a male, female thing. I guess she will have to be like me and load up on fluids on the way to the doctor so that she is nearly about to burst when they call her back. I swear I must be the only woman in history who at 9 months pregnant could not pee on demand unless I purposely loaded up on fluids:).

And in other check-up news, I had my yearly physical with my primary doctor today, too. I am also healthy and doing well developmentally and I will refrain from posting my "stats", especially the percentiles which would probably be the exact opposite of Chloe's. Anyway, I do get to see a podiatrist to have a bunion removed from my foot. Can you believe that? How old am I anyway? (I forget). I'm not looking forward to this procedure (which will probably be in October, hopefully over my fall break) since I've heard the recovery is actually fairly extensive, but I am looking forward to actually being able to fit my left foot into the same size shoe as my right again. And I'm hoping I might even be able to wear "cute" shoes again... once I can walk again, that is.

Chloe's Lesson on Love

Our preacher has been preaching on the Beattitudes and 2 Sundays ago he was preaching from the Sermon on the Mount. During this sermon he went back to 1 Corinthians 13 and reviewed Jesus's definition of love. The other night in the bathtub Chloe started saying,

Love is a mother.
Love is a brother.
Do not hit me or bit me or spit me.
Do not tease me or freeze me.
Do not splash me or fash me.
This is love.

She did several more of these little rhymes. Alot of them didn't make sense, but some of them kind of did and I couldn't figure out where they had come from. I said, "Where did you learn that?"

She said, "From the guy at church! I listened to the guy at church and he taught me that!"

So, at least Pastor Neil can rest assured that someone out there is listening.

Dollywood with Carson

The kids and I went to Dollywood with the Green family last Saturday. We had a blast!

After a rocky start when Dave and Carson were involved in a six car pile-up on the "Old Car Ride", we hit the kiddie area for some real fun!

Hey! Who's that big kid?

Evan is faking enthusiasm on the pigs. He has officially outgrown the kiddie area. 

We trusted Evan to make sure Carson stayed seated on the Ducks. It was better to give him a purpose:). 

Once it became clear that Carson was not going to make a break for it, he resorted to making silly faces at me for entertainment. 

Robin might have been having just a little too much fun on the bees. 

Poor Dave didn't learn his lesson on the Old Cars, so he let Evan drive the Bumper Cars. They spent a good deal of time going around in circles. At least you are supposed to crash on that ride. 

When Robin and I returned from riding the Barnstormer I found Evan meditating in the mist. 

Evan and Chloe loved the little splash area while Carson snoozed in her stroller. 

Silly boy! 

We had such a wonderful time! We are so blessed with good friends!

Horsin' Around on a Hot Summer Day

The kids saddled up CD (who we suspect even more strongly is with foal now due to the difference in her girth) in an attempt to convince cousin Jayda to ride.

Jayda decided she would rather not, but she and Chloe had lots of fun swinging, skipping rocks, riding the gator, and playing hide and seek!

Blessings

Now I way me down to sweep.
I pay the Word my soul to teep.
Angels watch me through the night.
Until I wake with morning wight.
Amen.
God bwess mama
God bwess daddy
God bwess Evan
God bwess Grandmudder and Granddaddy
God bwess Granddaddy Ben
God bwess Moppy and Poppy
God bwess Grammy and Grumpy
God bwess Beff and Brian and wittle baby Oliver.
God bwess Robin and Dave and baby Carson
God bwess Tayor and Saddie.
God bwess the Schwan's man.
God bwess all the people I love.
Amen.

Bedtime prayers by Chloe, age 3.

Ready for Movie Night

Movie night is a summer favorite. We have it once or twice a week. Chloe was all ready for The Princess and the Frog. Unfortunately she fell asleep soon after.

Dollywood with Oliver

We had so much fun showing Oliver around Dollywood for the first time last week!

Chloe loved The Ladybug Girl this year!

 Evan feels a little silly on the ducks this year. He is getting so big!

Lots of fun! We are so thankful for a sweet little cousin.