Days Are Fleeting, Memories Are Forever-April

No Mo Chemo!

No mo chemo! Well, almost- when this pump comes off Friday! A great day for sure.

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26

I really can't say enough wonderful things about the nurses who cared for me in the infusion lab. They are angels! They are so hard-working, efficient, conscientious, but also so kind, caring, and encouraging. I was amazed just watching them work. I was also touched each week by the various patients I was sharing my day with. Some were the same ones week after week, some changed. I often prayed for them, especially the ones I saw frequently. I will continue to pray for their recovery, health, and happiness. I will continue to pray for the older man who came by himself each week (that I mentioned earlier). I was happy to see he seemed to be less confused and scared as time went by.  There was one middle-aged man whose brother brought him each week. At the end of his treatment, he was so weak his brother would have to help him into his wheelchair and put his jacket on for him. The care and love between them touched my heart. There was one lady who I saw several times with her husband, but one time in particular I overheard her talking to the nurses about her daughter's wedding coming up this weekend. The next time, she was telling them all about how beautiful it was. Of course, one of my favorites was the father of a sweet family we know from North Middle. We sat near them when we could and would pass the time chitchatting. I saw several people ring the bell while I was there and a couple of times a nurse was working on me at the time and would whisper, "That will be you soon." 

My treatment was so short compared to so many... some were ringing that bell after YEARS of treatment. My treatment was so mild compared to so many... I walked in and out under my own power, I didn't require oxygen to breathe, I kept my hair (for the most part), I sat and worked while getting my infusion instead of being knocked out.  I wasn't waiting to find out if it worked, like so many. I wasn't anxiously awaiting for the results of a scan while hope and life hung in the balance. My journey was not fun. I wouldn't wish either the mildest chemotherapy treatment on my worst enemy, but I'm thankful that I handled it so well and that the Lord protected me and kept me healthy throughout it. I'm thankful for the blessings and the strength, courage, love, hope, and faith that I witnessed every other week in that infusion room. No one ever wants to face a cancer diagnosis or treatment, but in the end there are blessings to be found in all circumstances. 

Most of all, I'm SO THANKFUL for NO MO CHEMO!!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my LAST chemo! I am actually excited to go because it means it will be DONE. It will take a few weeks to feel better, but I know it’s OVER. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how I traveled the last few months and stayed productive at work, home, and in my doctorate classes. It definitely was not alone. I know that much for sure. When I look back at this time in my life, I will definitely see one set of footprints in the sand. The only way forward was through it, so that’s what I set my self to do- get through it one day, one treatment, one deadline, one due date at a time- but still, there really is no explanation other than God carried me, even when I was too exhausted to pray. And he sent angels to help me at just the right time. A meal, an uplifting card, a thoughtful treat, some well-timed lip balm, the perfect gift, an invitation for my kids to have some fun... time and again I have been overwhelmed (often to tears) by the love and support I have received. And never, ever can I say enough about the love and support I have received from my family- Matthew Tinker encouraged me to keep going in my doctorate, took over EVERYTHING at home even when I was healthy so I could work ahead on school work, never left my side even when I insisted I was ok, graciously accepted help on my behalf even when I said I could make it, and made sure I was able to have a little fun here and there. I am a very lucky wife and he has definitely upheld his vows- in sickness and in health. My children have been precious- selfless at ages known for selfishness, helpful, kind, loving, forgiving, and understanding. And I can never thank my parents enough for the care they have provided when I could not. When you get a wonderful surprise like Caroline a little later in life, grandparents are also a little older, and I know chasing a two year old is not easy for them (or raising 13 chicks to distract Chloe).But, we could have never made it without them and I am so thankful for them. Work family, friends, teachers, neighbors, church, community- thank you for carrying us through with your love, prayers, and support. We had fun celebrating the day before NO MO Chemo today!

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

First Swim!

Caroline took the first swim of the year. She convinced us to let her "swim" on the steps. She kept saying "it's not that cold", but her blue lips and loss of breath when the water hit her back said otherwise. When we drug her out of there, she screamed, "I'm a popsicle!"

Chloe's Chicks

Chloe is raising chickens for 4-H at Granddaddy's!

Laughter Is The Best Medicine- #5

As we were walking in to the treatment center this morning, Matthew was telling me that the other night when he came to bed I sat up and said, "Don't start in on me. There wasn't a place for her experience on her resume." He said, "whose resume?" and I said, "Caroline's!". Apparently after a little bit more conversation about our two year old's resume, I just started laughing uncontrollably. I have NO recollection of this, but it also made me laugh uncontrollably when he was telling me so I could barely even give the woman my name. Starting a day like today with laughter is the best way to start!

Here we go! Let's get this done! Almost there.

Philippians 3:13-14 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Focus on the Finish #5

Tomorrow is my next to last treatment! Praise God! Just two more to go! But, I gotta tell you, I am dreading them in the worst way. I still don't feel 100% from the last one and the memory of that icky feeling is still really strong. Just the thought of tomorrow or just touching my port makes me feel slightly nauseous. I am really trying to focus on the positive and the finish line, but it's tough. Praying to stay positive and finish strong. Keeping my eyes on summer- feeling good, port gone, and getting healthy!

Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Addy Rose

Being an aunt is great, but being a great-aunt is even better! Little Addy Rose is perfect and reminds me so much of her mommy.

No One Slapped Me

I found this from back when I was working on my Ed. S and thought it was funny.

A couple more years and Dr. Tinker will be in the house!

Happy Easter!

"Because He lives I can face tomorrow. Because He lives all fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future. And life is worth the living, just because He lives."

I'm so thankful for a living savior who takes care of me and holds my future so that I don't have to fear. 

I was still recovering from my treatment on Easter. I couldn't go to church this Easter, which was very sad for me, but we made the best of it. Caroline had fun hunting eggs in our living room!