Killer Bees or Bee Killers?

 We have been invaded by (what we have now determined to be) carpenter bees. The good news about these bees (according to the Internet) is the male bees do not sting. And it is the male bees that you normally see out and about dive bombing anyone who comes near. Never-the-less, they are big, loud, and they dive right at your head. Throw a few wasps in there as well (that do sting) and you've got some terrified children. So, Matthew and the kids had to do a little bee hunting. It seems badminton racquets were the weapon in season right now. And boy, did we hear some funny comments during this adventure!

 Evan was standing on the screened porch when he suddenly starts screaming wildly and swatting at his neck. He then begins hysterically crying. Thinking he has been stung by something, I am frantically trying to find a sting mark, looking for the bee he threw off his neck on the ground, but I can't find anything. Finally, he calms down enough to say,

 "There was a poisonous spider on my neck! It was terrifying!"

Again, I search his neck, no bites. I search the ground and find a teeny, tiny deer tick. Now, I'm not saying ticks are not gross. But as I've mentioned before, they are a way of life around here and are not in the same caliber as a poisonous spider.

A few minutes later he and Chloe run screaming hysterically away from the pond. Evan, panting in fear, said there were two yellow jackets swarming around the pond and he thinks they have a nest. Matthew goes to check it out and reports:

"Flies"

 Later, as they began their hunting adventure, a bluebird took flight from a bluebird house on a phone pole near our fence. Evan ducks frantically, "Whoa! What was that?!" Matthew says, "A bluebird." He responds, "Whew! I thought it was a bald eagle!"

 While hunting, Evan and Chloe come running around the playground screaming. 

Evan: RUN! We're outnumbered!

Chloe: RUN! They've outsmarted us!

After we had done some quick Internet research and determined the bees most likely would not sting them, Matthew told Evan to get out there and play and that the bees wouldn't bother him. Five seconds later we heard Evan screaming. A big carpenter bee had cornered him against the fence and was hovering less than an inch from his nose. Apparently what they don't have in stingers, they make up for in intimidation.

Chloe: Mommy! There's Mr. Crazy Wasp and Mr. Cranky Bee! Hurry! They don't look happy!

Evan: (Again frantically swatting at his upper body.) Aaah! A spider is trying to make a web on me!

My favorite:

Matthew: Go on and play. They won't bother you.

Evan: Dad! We've murdered most of their family! Of course they're going to bother us!

The Mighty Bee Killers!