Dear Evan

Dear Evan,

Today is your sixth birthday. It is almost hard for me to remember how very tiny you were when I first saw your little face six years ago. I cannot remember what my life was like before you were in it, but it also feels like the last six years have gone by in the blink of an eye. You were an answered prayer for me six years ago. I was blessed beyond measure when God chose me to be your mommy. You were truly a dream come true. But, in all those years of praying for a baby and dreaming and wishing of being a mommy I never really imagined what it would be like to watch that baby grow up.

Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I get sad to see you grow so fast. Sometimes I miss the little baby, toddler, and preschooler that you were. Sometimes I worry that I am not doing enough, not teaching you enough, not disciplining enough. I worry about your safety and your health. I worry about the person you will turn out to be. It is hard to let you go a little more everyday. To have a little less control over those things. To have to trust that you will be safe without me. To have to believe that you will make good decisions. It's hurt a little to watch you fall in love with your teacher. For you to ask to walk to school with friends instead of me. To watch you run into my room in the afternoon only to grab your toys and then run off to play. Yes, sometimes watching my baby grow up has been very, very hard. I somewhat expected that. I expected it to hurt to watch you grow away from me and to become your own person.

What I didn't expect as much is how absolutely wonderful it would feel! How truly amazing it would be to watch you turn into this little person. You've taken many steps off on your own this year. You started kindergarten, made new friends all on your own, and played baseball for the first time. I still remember how nervous I was on your first day of school, how hard it was to let go of your hand and leave you there in that big school. But, I didn't need to worry. You have been absolutely awesome this year! You have made us so proud with your excellent behavior. We were so pleased when you made a new best friend (and we discovered you had excellent taste in friends). We were amazed as you learned to read, add, subtract, and about a million other things. We were thrilled as you entered and placed in every "fair" this year. I've found my competitive spirit as I've watched you play baseball. Yes, watching you grow, even when it has been away from us, has been so exciting this year.

It is hard to believe how fast my "baby" is growing up. You are so tall, you come almost to my chin. You are so very smart, sometimes too smart for your own good. You are brave and independent. You are mature and responsible. You are everything I always hoped you would be and still so much more than I ever dreamed. You are just amazing. I love you so very much and I look forward to watching you grow every year. I can't wait to see the awesome person you turn out to be. I am so excited about all of the wonderful plans that God has for you. But, I'm not in too big of a hurry... you can stay my little boy for a while longer, please, because being your mommy is the most amazing and wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I am so glad that it was in God's plan for me.

I hope you have an amazing 6th birthday, buddy!

Love,
Mommy